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Band 3

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration
There is a
big
Correct word choice
wide
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 variety of aspects to consider
while
 choosing a job but still, it
thought
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is thought
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 by some that salary has the biggest impact
in
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on
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 our job design. Personally,
i
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I
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am disagree
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disagree
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 with the idea that money is the key factor when deciding on a career
,
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apply
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 because
i
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I
show examples
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that other factors are
equaly
Correct your spelling
equally
equal
 important. The argument in favour of putting money in the first place when thinking of
a
Remove the article
apply
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work would be that people are in general happier and more job satisfied when they have
high
Add an article
a high
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 salary that provides
Correct article usage
a luxirious
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luxirious
Correct your spelling
luxurious
life style
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lifestyle
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.
However
, I
belive
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believe
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this
 to be a very shortsighted view. As we spend most of our time working, our mood during the day and
overall
hapiness
Correct your spelling
happiness
 is strongly influenced by
workplace
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the workplace
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 atmosphere.
For
example
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example,
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 working every day with principals and coworkers that have no respect would cause a feeling of
miserablenes
Correct your spelling
miserableness
miserable
 that even monetary wealth can not improve the situation.
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task achievement
Ensure to provide a clear thesis statement that indicates your position on the topic.
task achievement
Expand on your main points and provide more examples and details to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Improve the transition between paragraphs and ensure a smooth flow of ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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