When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#job #salary #consideration

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is a

big

Correct word choice

wide

show examples

variety of aspects to consider

while

Linking Words

choosing a job but still, it

thought

Add a missing verb

is thought

show examples

by some that salary has the biggest impact

Change preposition

show examples

our job design. Personally,

Change the capitalization

show examples

am disagree

Change the verb form

disagree

show examples

with the idea that money is the key factor when deciding on a career

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because

Change the capitalization

show examples

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that other factors are

equaly

Correct your spelling

equally

equal

important. The argument in favour of putting money in the first place when thinking of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

work would be that people are in general happier and more job satisfied when they have

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

salary that provides

Correct article usage

a luxirious

show examples

luxirious

Correct your spelling

luxurious

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

However

Linking Words

, I

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

this

Linking Words

to be a very shortsighted view. As we spend most of our time working, our mood during the day and

overall

Linking Words

hapiness

Correct your spelling

happiness

is strongly influenced by

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

atmosphere.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

working every day with principals and coworkers that have no respect would cause a feeling of

miserablenes

Correct your spelling

miserableness

miserable

that even monetary wealth can not improve the situation.

Submitted by koxxorjonova on Fri Oct 13 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure to provide a clear thesis statement that indicates your position on the topic.

task achievement

Expand on your main points and provide more examples and details to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

Improve the transition between paragraphs and ensure a smooth flow of ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

154 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

consideration
sole factor
financial stability
security
motivating factor
dissatisfaction
demotivation
job satisfaction
overall well-being
fulfillment
work-life balance
flexible working hours
vacations
career growth opportunities
skill development
advancement
determining factor

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
You paid for a one month English Language course at a college overseas but you cannot attend. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter Introduce yourself and give details of the course. Explain why you are unable to attend the course. Say what you would like to do
My name is Anastassia, I'm from Israel, and I have enrolled in the "English as a Second Language" course at your college, which is scheduled to start on May 1.
7.5
band
Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
Today, there are a lot of countries affected by the poor economy. This might be because of plenty of reasons especially, natural calamities, war, pandemics, economic collapse etc. To support those nations many countries developed interests as well. However, financial assistance may not always eradicate famine. Aids like basic amenities like food, healthcare and other requirements can contribute to a better lifestyle. In this essay, we will discuss this.
4.5
band
Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is variety approaches for improve workers at work and schools in daily life. It is undeniable that work and school have a essential part of our life. However, there is no absolute agreement on whether competition and cooperation should be effect to workers and students.
7
band
Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?
English is a gateway to the world and no one should be deprived of the opportunities that arise for those with a strong command of the English language. This does not mean that local languages are dispensable, however. They have an important role to play in supporting education, including English language education.
4.5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Food, clothes and shelter are prima facie requirements for humans to survive and maintain well-being. One school of thought believes that in many nations having ownership of home is crucial rather than renting one for individuals. This essay shall discuss the bright side and it will be articulated in forthcoming paragraphs with logical Conclusion.

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You paid for a one month English Language course at a college overseas but you cannot attend. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter Introduce yourself and give details of the course. Explain why you are unable to attend the course. Say what you would like to do

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?