The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph demonstrates how
sugar
is produced from
sugar
cane and there are 7 steps during the whole process. At the very beginning,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
from
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
vegetation that needs 12 to 18 months
for growing
Change preposition
to grow
show examples
.
Thereafter
, the farmers harvest the matured canes by huge farming machines or cut
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
down
mannually
Correct your spelling
manually
. In terms of the former half of
process
Correct article usage
the process
show examples
, the cut-down
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
will be put into a crusher,
Correct word choice
and transferring
show examples
transferring
Wrong verb form
transferred
show examples
to
juice
. To make sure the
juice
can be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
pure and clean, workers pour
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
into
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter. Meanwhile, the purified
juice
will
dripped
Change the verb form
drip
be dripped
show examples
into a big evaporator which is operated by heat, and the
juice
will become syrup. After the syrup is manufactured, the next stage is using the centrifuge to
seperate
Correct your spelling
separate
sugar
and crystals from it. In the
last
step, the
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
sugar
will be sent into a large container for drying and cooling. Eventually, the whole process will be accomplished and the
sugar
will be ready for consumption and selling.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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