Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.

#cities #world #rate #population #decline #quality #life #city #areas #environment #growth

A lot of metropolitan areas in different countries are experiencing

decline

Add an article

a decline

show examples

in quality of life

due to

the huge increase in their populations.

This

may be because the

government

has been

linient

Correct your spelling

lenient

with the requirements for foreign immigrants and the lack of job opportunities in the rural areas. I believe improving the facilities and

transportations

Fix the agreement mistake

transportation

show examples

would help

accomodate

Correct your spelling

accommodate

these numbers.

Firstly

, one of the reasons why many people from less-affluent nations have the capability to live in

first world

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first-world

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cities is because of the simple requirements that they need to

fulfill

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fulfil

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This

is seen in Melbourne, thousands of foreigners reside in the city even though they do not have to show the

government

Remove the article

apply

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proof of their living capability.

As a result

, more and more would want to experience

to live

Change the verb form

living

show examples

in a developed place and follow suit. Those who live in the rural areas

Add the comma(s)

, on

show examples

the other hand, find greater opportunities in the urban to pursue their dreams.

Due to

this

, they end up leasing despite having their own house in their hometowns. If the

government

were to tackle these problems, improving the transit system must

be prioritise

Change the verb form

be prioritised

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to keep up with the growing population.

This

is because if these people will all use a private vehicle to move around,

this

will create traffic jams in many parts of the city.

In addition

, air pollution will be reduced through these changes. Meanwhile, a solution to house rentees is by regulating high-rise buildings,

instead

of occupying massive space on land. In conclusion,

due to

population growth in the cities, the demand for greater housing facilities and improved transport

system

Fix the agreement mistake

systems

show examples

also

increasing. It appears to me that if the

government

properly applies these remedies, it will lessen the severity of these issues.

Submitted by mjdf0930 on Sat Oct 14 2023

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task achievement

Provide a clearer introduction and thesis statement that directly addresses the essay question.

task achievement

Develop your main points more thoroughly and provide specific examples to support them.

coherence cohesion

Consider organizing your essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences and supporting details.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your lexical resource.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar, particularly with subject-verb agreement and word choice.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their product are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.