Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? Lack of motivation E.g. Not having activities like playing with the same age group. What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

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Working out is important to maintain
overall
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health, especially for older people.
However
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, despite the
recommendation
Fix the agreement mistake
recommendations
show examples
from doctors, many elderly are not active and not interested
on
Change preposition
in
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working out.
This
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essay will explore the reasons behind
this
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issue and propose
effective
Add an article
an effective
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strategy to encourage
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
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to include time to exercise in their daily routine. There reasons that
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
the elderly not exercise are lack of motivation and less
energy
Use synonyms
. In general human when they grow up
there
Correct your spelling
their
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energy
Use synonyms
become
Change the verb form
becomes
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less.
Also
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, their motivation to do anything
are
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is
show examples
decreased.
For instance
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, my father
are
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is
show examples
80 years old his daily routine watching Television and chatting with friends. He
hate
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hates
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going to the gym or doing any physical activity,
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this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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because he
don’t
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doesn’t
show examples
have
Correct article usage
the same
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same age
Add a hyphen
same-age
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companion
motivate
Fix the infinitive
to motivate
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him. To encourage
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
to
workout
Correct your spelling
work out
show examples
I
sugguest
Correct your spelling
suggest
creating
Gym
Correct article usage
a Gym
show examples
and mobile application for old people in order to increase their motivation and keep them more active.
First,
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creating a gym for the same age group will motivate them more because they will
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
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fitness level and
energy
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
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, creating
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
show examples
app will help them see their daily progress.
Also
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, will send them daily
motivtional
Correct your spelling
motivational
notification
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notifications
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that will boost their
energy
Use synonyms
and will keep them more active. In conclusion,
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
need to be active to maintain their health.
Therefore
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,
this
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strategy that I
presents
Change the verb form
present
show examples
in my essay will help them a lot.
Submitted by mneeraaljalahma on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more clear and comprehensive ideas about the reasons why many elderly people do not exercise.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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