Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? Lack of motivation E.g. Not having activities like playing with the same age group. What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

#doctors #people #exercise #lack #motivation #e #g #activities #age #group

Working out is important to maintain

overall

health, especially for older people.

However

, despite the

recommendation

Fix the agreement mistake

recommendations

show examples

from doctors, many elderly are not active and not interested

Change preposition

show examples

working out.

This

essay will explore the reasons behind

this

issue and propose

effective

Add an article

an effective

show examples

strategy to encourage

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

to include time to exercise in their daily routine. There reasons that

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

the elderly not exercise are lack of motivation and less

energy

. In general human when they grow up

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

energy

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

less.

Also

, their motivation to do anything

are

Change the verb form

show examples

decreased.

For instance

, my father

are

Change the verb form

show examples

80 years old his daily routine watching Television and chatting with friends. He

hate

Change the verb form

hates

show examples

going to the gym or doing any physical activity,

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

because he

don’t

Change the verb form

doesn’t

show examples

have

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

same age

Add a hyphen

same-age

show examples

companion

motivate

Fix the infinitive

to motivate

show examples

him. To encourage

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

workout

Correct your spelling

work out

show examples

sugguest

Correct your spelling

suggest

creating

Gym

Correct article usage

a Gym

show examples

and mobile application for old people in order to increase their motivation and keep them more active.

First,

creating a gym for the same age group will motivate them more because they will

Verb problem

have

show examples

almost

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

fitness level and

energy

Moreover

, creating

mobile

Add an article

a mobile

show examples

app will help them see their daily progress.

Also

, will send them daily

motivtional

Correct your spelling

motivational

notification

Fix the agreement mistake

notifications

show examples

that will boost their

energy

and will keep them more active. In conclusion,

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

need to be active to maintain their health.

Therefore

this

strategy that I

presents

Change the verb form

present

show examples

in my essay will help them a lot.

Submitted by mneeraaljalahma on Sat Oct 14 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively.

task achievement

Provide more clear and comprehensive ideas about the reasons why many elderly people do not exercise.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
These days, many people watch spors on TV. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
At present, a considerable number of people enjoy watching sports events on TV. In my opinion, I believe that watching sports on TV can bring about more problems for audiences compared to any advantages it might bring.
4
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
There is a rising issue among societies about how some children use most of their time each day on their mobile phones. This matter caused by various interesting thing which are provided by smartphones and it is lead to two sides of the development: increase children knowledge and raise effect number of unnecessary illness in their stage. I personally deal with the former notion.
4.5
band
In many countries people are now living longer than over before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benifits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
All over the world, the elderly people each increase then the birth rate in decline. Although there are several advantages of in my opinion the elderly people each increase creates problems for governments then there are benifits. Of society it can have some disadvantages as well. I would argue that positive sides of this can outweigh the negatives.
6
band
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some People contend that there are many pressing concerns that a country must resolve before emphasizing the arts. However, arts are essential to a culture, and allocating funds to preserve and develop is fair.
4.5
band
It is very important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is argued that everyone, including young people, must save money for their future. This essay totally agrees with that statement. I believe that it is very important because saving money is one of the good habits, and it is one of the significant things that people should do for their future.

Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? Lack of motivation E.g. Not having activities like playing with the same age group. What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days, many people watch spors on TV. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is very important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?