Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? Lack of motivation E.g. Not having activities like playing with the same age group. What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

#doctors #people #exercise #lack #motivation #e #g #activities #age #group

Working out is important to maintain

overall

health, especially for older people.

However

, despite the

recommendation

Fix the agreement mistake

recommendations

show examples

from doctors, many elderly are not active and not interested

Change preposition

show examples

working out.

This

essay will explore the reasons behind

this

issue and propose

effective

Add an article

an effective

show examples

strategy to encourage

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

to include time to exercise in their daily routine. There reasons that

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

the elderly not exercise are lack of motivation and less

energy

. In general human when they grow up

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

energy

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

less.

Also

, their motivation to do anything

are

Change the verb form

show examples

decreased.

For instance

, my father

are

Change the verb form

show examples

80 years old his daily routine watching Television and chatting with friends. He

hate

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hates

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going to the gym or doing any physical activity,

this

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

because he

don’t

Change the verb form

doesn’t

show examples

have

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

same age

Add a hyphen

same-age

show examples

companion

motivate

Fix the infinitive

to motivate

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him. To encourage

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

workout

Correct your spelling

work out

show examples

sugguest

Correct your spelling

suggest

creating

Gym

Correct article usage

a Gym

show examples

and mobile application for old people in order to increase their motivation and keep them more active.

First,

creating a gym for the same age group will motivate them more because they will

Verb problem

have

show examples

almost

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

fitness level and

energy

Moreover

, creating

mobile

Add an article

a mobile

show examples

app will help them see their daily progress.

Also

, will send them daily

motivtional

Correct your spelling

motivational

notification

Fix the agreement mistake

notifications

show examples

that will boost their

energy

and will keep them more active. In conclusion,

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

need to be active to maintain their health.

Therefore

this

strategy that I

presents

Change the verb form

present

show examples

in my essay will help them a lot.

Submitted by mneeraaljalahma on Sat Oct 14 2023

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coherence cohesion

Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more effectively.

task achievement

Provide more clear and comprehensive ideas about the reasons why many elderly people do not exercise.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

229 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly. However, many of them do not get enough exercise. What are the reasons? Lack of motivation E.g. Not having activities like playing with the same age group. What can be done to encourage them to exercise more?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries today, children are taught from a young age that competition is important and that winning is everything. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors and situations by others of the same age. This is called “peer pressure”. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In theie advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?