With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, fast
food
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
the choice for a number of individuals because it is easier to serve and ready to eat. In my opinion, I strongly believe that there are a number of drawbacks from particular fast
food
,
such
as high
sugar
and fat content can lead to numerous diseases. To commence with, fast
food
is the best choice for the main meals for
people
who are not able to serve processed
food
because of their business in their career. They usually do not have much
time
to serve their meals.
Therefore
, they decided to purchase fast
food
for their meals.
For instance
,
people
who live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urban
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
tend to have more exposure to modern life
instead
of
people
who live in the countryside. So, they can find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast
food
outlet
Fix the agreement mistake
outlets
show examples
easier
Correct word choice
more easily
show examples
than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas.
However
, even though fast
food
is easy to serve, there are a number of downsides
from
Change preposition
to
show examples
fast
food
,
such
as high
sugar
and fat content.
For instance
, a burger that has a big size and has many ingredients of cheese
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
tends to be high in fat.
Moreover
, if
people
order
food
with soda drinks, they
also
will consume a high amount of
sugar
. The high amount of fat and
sugar
content can lead to obesity. If
people
intake
this
kind of
food
for a long
time
, it will lead to
non communicable
Add a hyphen
non-communicable
show examples
diseases,
such
as atherosclerosis, diabetes mellitus, and heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
. So, the consumption of fast
food
has to be restricted.
To sum up
, fast
food
is one of the best
food
choices when we do not have more
time
to serve a proper meal.
However
, we have to restrict the consumption of fast
food
and consider the negative side of fast
food
if we consume
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
a long
time
.
Submitted by nira.delina16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Add a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your opinion.
task achievement
Provide more supporting examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion by also considering potential advantages of fast food.
coherence cohesion
Improve the overall logical flow of the essay by using more transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion to summarize your main points.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure correct use of verb tenses.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: