IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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In recent times, fast
food
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is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 the choice for a number of individuals because it is easier to serve and ready to eat. In my opinion, I strongly believe that there are a number of drawbacks from particular fast
food
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,
such
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 as high
sugar
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 and fat content can lead to numerous diseases. To commence with, fast
food
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 is the best choice for the main meals for
people
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 who are not able to serve processed
food
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 because of their business in their career. They usually do not have much
time
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 to serve their meals.
Therefore
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, they decided to purchase fast
food
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 for their meals.
For instance
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,
people
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 who live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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urban
area
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areas
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 tend to have more exposure to modern life
instead
Linking Words
 of
people
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 who live in the countryside. So, they can find
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fast
food
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outlet
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outlets
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easier
Correct word choice
more easily
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 than in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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rural areas.
However
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, even though fast
food
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 is easy to serve, there are a number of downsides
from
Change preposition
to
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 fast
food
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,
such
Linking Words
 as high
sugar
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 and fat content.
For instance
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, a burger that has a big size and has many ingredients of cheese
,
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apply
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 tends to be high in fat.
Moreover
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, if
people
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 order
food
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 with soda drinks, they
also
Linking Words
 will consume a high amount of
sugar
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. The high amount of fat and
sugar
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 content can lead to obesity. If
people
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 intake
this
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 kind of
food
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 for a long
time
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, it will lead to
non communicable
Add a hyphen
non-communicable
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 diseases,
such
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 as atherosclerosis, diabetes mellitus, and heart
diseases
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disease
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. So, the consumption of fast
food
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 has to be restricted.
To sum up
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, fast
food
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 is one of the best
food
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 choices when we do not have more
time
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 to serve a proper meal.
However
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, we have to restrict the consumption of fast
food
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 and consider the negative side of fast
food
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 if we consume
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
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 a long
time
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.

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task achievement
Add a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your opinion.
task achievement
Provide more supporting examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion by also considering potential advantages of fast food.
coherence cohesion
Improve the overall logical flow of the essay by using more transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Include a conclusion to summarize your main points.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more varied and precise language.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and ensure correct use of verb tenses.
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