the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#shop #sales #sectors #zealand #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The two pie charts illustrate what percentage of the online shopping retail sectors in New

Zealand

between 2003 and 2013.

Overall

, at the beginning of the period

Add a comma

show examples

books contributed the least to sales in New

Zealand

while

clothes were the most significant retail sector. In comparison,

at the end

of the period film or music and travel became the largest sales segment and the lowest contribution was made by clothes. The retail sector accounted for 19% of New

Zealand

's sales in 2003

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and experienced

approximatelyapproximately

Correct your spelling

approximately approximately

growth

Correct article usage

a growth

show examples

of less than one in tenth in 2013. Film or music was about fifth in 2003, and experimented a more than twofold increase to more than third in 2013. The clothes, which

comprises

Wrong verb form

comprised

show examples

almost a quarter of New

Zealand

's retail sectors in 2003, fell to 16% in 2013. The largest

sale

Fix the agreement mistake

sales

show examples

segment was travel roughly more than a third in 2003, decreasing to 29%

Change the preposition

show examples

the end of the period.

Submitted by samilking2007 on Sat Oct 14 2023

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Vocabulary: Replace the words zealand with synonyms.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

156 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

retail sectors
online shopping sales
percentage increase/decrease
significant growth/decline
electronic goods
clothing and footwear
food and beverages
household goods
recreational goods
stable sales
emerging sectors
overall growth
decade comparison
shift in consumer behavior
e-commerce
trend analysis
market dynamics
purchasing habits

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the pie charts below shop the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013 summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

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