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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #importany #friends
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Time
Use synonyms
 is precious and many successful leaders consider it as a gift. Some people work long periods of
time
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 for their success in their
Use synonyms
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others think that spending
time
Use synonyms
 with family and friends is more important. The following essay will discuss both views and provide my opinion.
Career
Use synonyms
 growth is happening in a systematic way during a long period of work experience. To touch victory in the
career
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 ladder one should spend his valuable
time
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 in a proper manner.
For example
Linking Words
, Jeff Bosons who worked for more than 6 years spent 15 hours daily building his Amazon company into an International firm.
Furthermore
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, the success rate of his effort is inspiring for others who are dreaming of building their
career
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 and using
time
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 in a strategic way.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people are giving more value to spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their friends and families.
Although
Linking Words
 spending
time
Use synonyms
 with relatives is better,
career
Use synonyms
 growth will diminish
due to
Linking Words
waste
Correct article usage
the waste
show examples
 of
time
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.
Lifelife
Correct your spelling
Life
 becomes more meaningful when people communicate socially with their loved ones. It reduces mental pressures and supports their
further
Linking Words
 activities of daily life. In conclusion,
career
Use synonyms
 growth and success is a slow process
requires
Correct pronoun usage
that requires
show examples
 enormous effort and focus for a long period of
time
Use synonyms
, and spending
time
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 with family is
also
Linking Words
 significant in human life. I think that the ones who are required to be successful in real life should spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on their
career
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by devika.mohanan on

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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and choose words carefully to convey your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range accuracy
Attempt to use more varied grammatical structures and aim for accuracy in sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • strike a balance
  • ambitious
  • dedicated
  • work-life balance
  • career-oriented
  • professional success
  • financial stability
  • personal fulfillment
  • contribute
  • supportive
  • cherish
  • bond
  • memorable
  • experience
  • social connections
  • commitment
  • advocate
  • sacrifice
  • juggle
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