the bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in ine month in 2015.

the bar chart shows the percentage of males and females aged 18-20 in a city who participated in a various activities in ine month in 2015.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates how the proportion of participation in various activities in one month in the year 2015 differs among the population of women and men aged 18-20 .
It is clear that
Linking Words
males showed a significant portion in types of sports like basketball, football, and hockey,
whereas
Linking Words
a higher percentage of females participated in cycling and swimming.
Firstly
Linking Words
, football male players contributed to 50%,
while
Linking Words
only 15% was considered by females.
Likewise
Linking Words
, a similar contribution resulted in basketball, above 30% and 10% for both genders respectively. Activities
such
Linking Words
as hockey, experienced the smallest proportion of people, accounting for more than 10% for boys and 5% for girls.
By contrast
Linking Words
, more females participated in cycling resulting in 40%
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
percentage was smaller for males, accounting for a solid 35%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in terms of swimming, only 20% of the male population joined
this
Linking Words
activity.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the women's participation was above the amount of men , namely 45%.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: