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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table gives information on internet use in six categories by age group.

The table gives information on internet use in six categories by age group.
#information #internet #six #categories #age #group
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The given table illustrates the proportion of using
Internet
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the Internet
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 in 6 different activities by
age
Use synonyms
 groups. As it presented, e-mail
using
Replace the word
use
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 is the most popular activity for all
age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 (more than 90 per cent). Those aged 20-29 have the same percentage as the oldest demographic. The percentage of playing video games has a trend for younger generations. Teens and
people
Use synonyms
 in their 20s have 80 and 88 percent respectively.
While
Linking Words
people
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 50+ have no more than 30 per cent. In terms of travel
reservation
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reservations
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 and online purchasing, the most interested group is
people
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 in their 30s. These categories account for 74 and 69 percent respectively. Searching for
people
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 is the least popular for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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age
Use synonyms
 brackets ( from 3 to 33 per cent).
Overall
Linking Words
, the most popular internet activity among all
age
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 groups is e-mails and second online purchasing. And searching for
people
Use synonyms
 is the least flavoured.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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