The bar chart below shows the percentages of three groups of Japanese children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

#bar #percentages #three #groups #japanese #children #part #four #kinds #activities #information #features #comparisons

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The bar graph displays the different age ranges of Japanese children who rode bikes, played

computer

games

, read and watched

in 2018.

Overall

, watching

had a greater proportion than any other activity, followed by reading and riding a bike,

while

playing

computer

games

had the lowest percentage. For kids from 5 to 8 years old, the activity that they did the most was watching

, with a proportion of 92%,

while

the rest of the activities have a similar percentage; reading with approximately 63%, riding bikes with just 1% less than reading and three-fifth of children play

computer

games

. For children in the age range of 9 to 11, the activity that they liked the most was watching

, with a portion of four-fifths, followed by reading with 70% and

then

riding a bike with just above 60%,

lastly

computer

games

with nearly 58%.

Furthermore

, a little above 80% of people from 12 to 16 rode bikes, 80% watched television and 10% read.

Finally

, only two-fifths of individuals from 12 to 16 played

computer

games

Submitted by elenazheng1211 on Sun Oct 15 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Vocabulary: Replace the words computer, games, tv with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

177 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?
In this economic distress , Many of the developed countries had been funding the less fortunate countries . This subject had always been debatable in regards to the impact of solving the financial distress . In my opinion , I disagree with this notation and In this essay , I will further elaborate my view , in order to reach a logical conclusion.
4.5
band
Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary era, the existence of advertising has crept into many aspects of daily lives. From my perspective, this tendency has raised many disrupting concerns relating to the issues of manipulating the public opinion and fostering overshopping.
6.5
band
People are using a lot of online language translation apps. Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?
It is argued that the usage of online linguistic translation tools is becoming more common among individuals. I firmly contend that the advantages of these tools far outweigh any potential drawbacks, as they significantly streamline the work of translators and facilitate global communication.
5
band
Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?
It is believed by some that living in an apartment is more advantageous than living in a house. Despite the fact that people can enjoy more scenic views by living in an apartment, I believe that living in a house has more advantages because it is less noisy than apartments.
6.5
band
Even though doctors advise old people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough. What are reasons for this? What are some possible solutions for this?
Although health professionals stress the importance of daily exercise to promote good health, many elderly individuals refuse to exercise regularly. While this issue can be attributed to the confluence of practical and emotional factors, I believe that governments and individuals can take effective measures to come to grips with it.

The bar chart below shows the percentages of three groups of Japanese children taking part in four kinds of activities in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Many developed countries are giving financial aid to poor countries. However, this hasn’t solved the problem of poverty in these nations and so other types of help are needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Today, people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think is important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People are using a lot of online language translation apps. Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with living in an apartment?

Even though doctors advise old people to get more exercise, many old people do not get enough. What are reasons for this? What are some possible solutions for this?