Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children

this

day and age, it is a common belief that unpaid

community

service

ought to be a compulsory

part

of high

school

programmes.

However

, I only partly agree. I will shed light on my opinion in the following essay.

To begin

with, unpaid

community

service

should be a compulsory

part

of high

school

programmes. First of all, it not only benefits the

community

but

also

helps children develop themselves.

Furthermore

, they can learn the importance of giving back and improve a sense of

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

empathy towards those in need by volunteering. Another reason

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

, when improving the

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

, they can take

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

pride in society and feel a sense of ownership and responsibility.

Moreover

, teaching sports to younger people can promote leadership skills and encourage them to be perfect role models.

Overall

, they can practice life skills

while

also

positively impacting their communities. On top of that, some individuals believe that it should not be an official

part

of high

school

. Some students may have other activities outside after

school

such

as joining extra classes, that make it difficult for them to dedicate time to public

service

Additionally

, some

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

lack access to transportation or live in areas without

community

opportunities.

Moreover

, to ensure that it is not a burden for pupils.

To sum up

, unpaid

community

service

can teach students many social skills. But if it becomes a

pulsory

Correct your spelling

compulsory

part

, it will be a burden for scholars.

However

, for those who are able and willing to participate,

community

service

can be a valuable experience.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Mon Oct 16 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
high school programmes
unpaid community service
charity
improving the neighbourhood
teaching sports
sense of responsibility
empathy
broader perspective
societal issues
college applications
job applications
positive impact

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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