Big salary is much more imporant than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It is known that
money
is so important nowadays because we buy everything with it. Some people believe that a big salary is not important to be happy,
while
others do not. I strongly believe that it depends on the person. In
this
essay, I will explain it. On the one hand, we live in modern times and we need
money
for everything because we can buy everything with
money
such
as clothes, food, a house or travel, and all of these
thıngs
Correct your spelling
things
need
money
. If you have a big salary you can live better and you can buy a car or house.
However
, if you do not have enough
money
you cannot do what you want.
For example
, my friend's daughter was ill and needed some fınancıal help for her operation. Unfortunately, the government did not help her. That's what the girl's father borrowed from his relatives
then
the girl could have the operation. The example shows us we need a big
ıncome
Correct your spelling
outcome
because we do not know when life
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
us issues.
On the other hand
, others have big salaries and live in good conditions, but they may be not happy because the
work
may be difficult. Normally, a person works 8 hours in day,
this
is big time if you are not happy at
work
, you can be bored and get stressed there.
For instance
, I met somebody in a cafe and he told me, I have a high income and a good situation, but I am not happy with my
work
because he is a cardiology doctor and his patient died. It is normal in their job, but when his patient dies it affects his feelings and he can not forget for a long time. The example shows us that big salaries
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not enough to be happy.
To sum up
, two examples show that the financial situation is
so
Rephrase
very
show examples
important in life;
however
, it is not enough alone. In my opinion, it depends on the people, some can
work
only for
money
and for
them
Add a comma
them,
show examples
satisfaction is not
imprtant
Correct your spelling
important
, whilst vice
vesa
Correct your spelling
versa
for others.
Submitted by ares.grup on

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction paragraph.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Add more linking words and phrases to improve cohesion of your ideas.
grammatical range accuracy
Review the use of verb tenses for consistency.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Provide a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • priority
  • fulfilling
  • financial security
  • stress
  • motivation
  • contentment
  • intrinsic rewards
  • extrinsic rewards
  • monetary compensation
  • career progression
  • work-life balance
  • opportunities
  • livelihood
  • sustain
  • luxuries
  • perspective
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