Big salary is much more imporant than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

It is known that

money

is so important nowadays because we buy everything with it. Some people believe that a big salary is not important to be happy,

while

others do not. I strongly believe that it depends on the person. In

this

essay, I will explain it. On the one hand, we live in modern times and we need

money

for everything because we can buy everything with

money

such

as clothes, food, a house or travel, and all of these

thıngs

Correct your spelling

things

need

money

. If you have a big salary you can live better and you can buy a car or house.

However

, if you do not have enough

money

you cannot do what you want.

For example

, my friend's daughter was ill and needed some fınancıal help for her operation. Unfortunately, the government did not help her. That's what the girl's father borrowed from his relatives

then

the girl could have the operation. The example shows us we need a big

ıncome

Correct your spelling

outcome

because we do not know when life

show

Change the verb form

shows

show examples

us issues.

On the other hand

, others have big salaries and live in good conditions, but they may be not happy because the

work

may be difficult. Normally, a person works 8 hours in day,

this

is big time if you are not happy at

work

, you can be bored and get stressed there.

For instance

, I met somebody in a cafe and he told me, I have a high income and a good situation, but I am not happy with my

work

because he is a cardiology doctor and his patient died. It is normal in their job, but when his patient dies it affects his feelings and he can not forget for a long time. The example shows us that big salaries

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not enough to be happy.

To sum up

, two examples show that the financial situation is

Rephrase

very

show examples

important in life;

however

, it is not enough alone. In my opinion, it depends on the people, some can

work

only for

money

and for

them

Add a comma

them,

show examples

satisfaction is not

imprtant

Correct your spelling

important

, whilst vice

vesa

Correct your spelling

versa

for others.

Submitted by ares.grup on Mon Oct 16 2023

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task achievement

Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction paragraph.

task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Add more linking words and phrases to improve cohesion of your ideas.

grammatical range accuracy

Review the use of verb tenses for consistency.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Provide a stronger conclusion that summarizes your main points.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

349 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

priority
fulfilling
financial security
stress
motivation
contentment
intrinsic rewards
extrinsic rewards
monetary compensation
career progression
work-life balance
opportunities
livelihood
sustain
luxuries
perspective

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Big salary is much more imporant than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

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