IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#expenditure #three #categories #age #groups #residents #uk #summaries #information #features #comparisons
The spending on three categories among various
age
 groups of citizens in the UK in 2004 is represented by the chart below.
Overall
, it is obvious that the
percentage
 of
food
 and drink increases as
people
 get older
while
 the other two categories vary depending on the
age
group
. The money spent on both
food
 and entertainment increases steadily among the
age
 groups.
Food
 started at 6% in the
age
 under 30 and increased steeply till it reached 17% in the 46-75
age
group
.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment began at 7% in
people
 under the
age
 of 30 and kept rising till it got
to14
Correct your spelling
to 14
% in
people
 between the 46 and 60 years old.
However
,
food
 kept increasing till it ended up exceeding 20% in the 76+
age
group
,
while
 entertainment dropped to 13% in the
age
group
 of 76+ .
On the other hand
, the money spent on restaurants and hotels fluctuated between the
age
 groups. The
percentage
 was the highest in
people
 under the
age
 of 30 where it was 14%. That
percentage
 decreased to 12% in the 46-60
age
group
. Yet, the
percentage
 increased steeply in the
age
group
 of 76+ to go from 2% to 7%.
Submitted by malakhatem15072005 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, percentage, food, people, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "steeply" was used 2 times.
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