IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing?

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To a
larrge
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large
extend
Replace the word
extent
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, I agree it is a great
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
.
Media
Use synonyms
 is a trend that we live in
this
Linking Words
 generation,
a
Correct article usage
apply
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fast technology can make a big decision
while
Linking Words
 the " KOL" can be seen or not. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous
people
Use synonyms
 do not put much effort so that they can under
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light sports
whith
Correct your spelling
with
which
the
Correct article usage
an
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orgianl
Correct your spelling
original
 background.
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
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 used to
sick
Verb problem
get
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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attendtion
Correct your spelling
attention
 from others and interested
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 lives of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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extraordinary
people
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will focus on two aspects
in
Change preposition
of
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 and the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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ability of the
noraml
Correct your spelling
normal
people
Use synonyms
. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
for most
,
though
Correct your spelling
through
show examples
 the
media
Use synonyms
 to know about the
autobitrography
Correct your spelling
autobiography
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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famous
people
Use synonyms
, to gain another
life
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 from different
people
Use synonyms
.
Media
Use synonyms
 can show the famous from
different
Add an article
a different
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 field,
for example
Linking Words
, Beckham is a famous football star from England,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
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 if
people
Use synonyms
are not participate
Change the verb form
do not participate
show examples
into
Change preposition
in
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 the football world, they do not know why he is famous and what makes him
to
Change the verb form
apply
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become famous, but
socail
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 post the first hand or
second hand
Add a hyphen
second-hand
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meterials
Correct your spelling
materials
 as soon as possible on the internet.
People
Use synonyms
 used to imitate the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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who
Change the pronoun
whom
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you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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do not have the
personalities
Fix the agreement mistake
personality
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, so
Use synonyms
media
Correct article usage
the media
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 can help
poeople
Correct your spelling
people
 to understand more about the ordinary background
from
Change preposition
of
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 the superstar, and try to catch up
the
Change preposition
with the
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 success methods and the
life
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
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 the superstar, to improve their knowledge in mentally.
Besides
Linking Words
, though
the
Correct article usage
apply
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socail
Correct your spelling
social
media
Use synonyms
 can know about the difference between my own and others of different
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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compare
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with the successful person, to know
the
Change the word
their
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 ability of themselves. Nowadays, social
media
Use synonyms
 are popular in the world, the news and report can
be find
Change the verb form
be found
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
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 a huge amount of the internet,
for instance
Linking Words
, Youtube, Netflix,
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
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 and so on. The
media
Use synonyms
 represent
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fake news and real news, but
people
Use synonyms
 do not care about the accuracy,
people
Use synonyms
 tend to know what
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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ordinary
people
Use synonyms
 do to gain a lot of money that they cannot
immitate
Correct your spelling
imitate
, and how they do to become a CEO when they are in age 18. The reasons why they
really
Add a missing verb
are really
show examples
 interest
about
Change preposition
apply
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is about the large
differnece
Correct your spelling
difference
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with their real reality,some
people
Use synonyms
 might
think
Verb problem
wonder
show examples
 why they can not
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 when they are still
in
Change preposition
at
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 age 50, the
comparation
Correct your spelling
comparison
resperstent
Correct your spelling
represent
 the difference, so
people
Use synonyms
 want to seek help from the resources on the
internect
Correct your spelling
internet
, but not finding a way to improve themselves.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the interent
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interent
Correct your spelling
Internet
 can show
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about everything including how famous
people
Use synonyms
 can
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 successful, but the way you need
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is to put
more
Change preposition
in more
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efford
Correct your spelling
effort
 and try to build up yourselves, to gain a better
life
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
 and present
a good personalities
Correct the article-noun agreement
good personalities
a good personality
show examples
 after
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
 a large amout of the resources.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • celebrity
  • ordinary backgrounds
  • interest
  • curiosity
  • fascination
  • escapism
  • entertainment
  • inspiration
  • motivation
  • identification
  • relatability
  • social comparison
  • envy
  • public interest
  • negative effects
  • excessive focus
What to do next:
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