IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the amount of lesiure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.

The chart below shows the amount of lesiure time enjoyed by men and women of different employment status.
#amount #lesiure #time #men #women #employment #status
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The bar chart illustrates
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
time
Use synonyms
 enjoyed by both
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 of different
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses
show examples
. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more leisure
time
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
rather
Rephrase
apply
show examples
than
women
Use synonyms
 in full
work
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 no
time
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
 that
work
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 bit more
time
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 at
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 than at
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
. Unemployed
men
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more
time
Use synonyms
 than unemployed
women
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, retired
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 leisure as unemployed
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
. It is evident that retired and unemployed
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 difference in
time
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
between
show examples
 employed
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 and employed
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
chart
Correct article usage
the chart
show examples
 shows that there are no
housewive
Correct your spelling
housewives
show examples
men
Use synonyms
. Housewive
women
Use synonyms
 have more free
time
Use synonyms
 than employed and
Use synonyms
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 employed
women
Use synonyms
, but less than retired or unemployed
women
Use synonyms
. Evidently, least free
time
Use synonyms
 for
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
 employed males and females and most leisure
time
Use synonyms
 unemployed and retired. For unemployed and retired
men
Use synonyms
 it is more than 80
hours
Use synonyms
 and for
women
Use synonyms
 less than 80
hours
Use synonyms
. For
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
 employed people less than 40
hours
Use synonyms
 for
women
Use synonyms
 and more than 40
hours
Use synonyms
 for
men
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, men, women, work, part, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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