The line chart shows average attendance at the cinema among various age groups in the Great Britain from 1984 to 2000.

The line chart shows average attendance at the cinema among various age groups in the Great Britain from 1984 to 2000.
The line graph illustrates the percentages of
age
group
audience who attend to watch
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
in the cinema between 2000 and 2011 in the UK.
Overall
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all kinds of
age
groups exhibited an escalating trend throughout the period.
While
the population from 15 to 24
years
old was the dominant
group
for each year, the 35 and higher
years
old category was the least significant
age
group
compared to its counterparts over the decade. The two
age
groups were followed a similar ups and downs that are the 7-14
years
old and the 25-35
years
old. In 2000, the ratio of 7-14
years
old was 10%,
then
it fluctuated in the next 4
years
before inclining to 30%. After a slight drop in 2008s, it jumped to a peak of below 40% in 2010 before falling to 30% in 2011. The 25-35
years
old population
also
demonstrated
likely
Correct article usage
a likely
show examples
trend,
although
its first and second peak
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
a little bit earlier.
On the other hand
, the 35 and plus
years
old
age
group
showed consistent improvement over the 10
years
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
at almost 1% in 2010. Eventually, it passed to 10% barrier in
2009s
Correct your spelling
2009
.
Conversely
, from 15 to 24
years
old
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
was dramatically inclined to nearly 40% in 2006. After fluctuating at
jsut
Correct your spelling
just
below 40% until 2008, it rocketed to over %50 in 2009.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: