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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line chart shows average attendance at the cinema among various age groups in the Great Britain from 1984 to 2000.

The line chart shows average attendance at the cinema among various age groups in the Great Britain from 1984 to 2000.
#line #attendance #cinema #age #groups #britain
The line graph illustrates the percentages of
age
group
 audience who attend to watch
movie
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movies
show examples
 in the cinema between 2000 and 2011 in the UK.
Overall
,
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
all kinds of
age
 groups exhibited an escalating trend throughout the period.
While
 the population from 15 to 24
years
 old was the dominant
group
 for each year, the 35 and higher
years
 old category was the least significant
age
group
 compared to its counterparts over the decade. The two
age
 groups were followed a similar ups and downs that are the 7-14
years
 old and the 25-35
years
 old. In 2000, the ratio of 7-14
years
 old was 10%,
then
 it fluctuated in the next 4
years
 before inclining to 30%. After a slight drop in 2008s, it jumped to a peak of below 40% in 2010 before falling to 30% in 2011. The 25-35
years
 old population
also
 demonstrated
likely
Correct article usage
a likely
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 trend,
although
 its first and second peak
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 a little bit earlier.
On the other hand
, the 35 and plus
years
 old
age
group
 showed consistent improvement over the 10
years
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 at almost 1% in 2010. Eventually, it passed to 10% barrier in
2009s
Correct your spelling
2009
.
Conversely
, from 15 to 24
years
 old
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 was dramatically inclined to nearly 40% in 2006. After fluctuating at
jsut
Correct your spelling
just
 below 40% until 2008, it rocketed to over %50 in 2009.
Submitted by historicalpen on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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