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Band 4

art is considered an essential part of all culutres throughout the world. However, these days fewer and fewer people appreciate art and turn their focus to science, technology, and business. Why do you think that is? What could be done to encourage more people to take interest in the arts?

#art #part #culutres #world #people #focus #science #technology #business #interest #arts
The two maps depict the blueprint of
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
 and
Paralmpic
Correct your spelling
Paralympic
village
Capitalize word
Village
show examples
 of the year 2000
adn
Correct your spelling
and
 of current times. It was observed that in the year
2000
Add a comma
2000,
show examples
 a river
runs
Wrong verb form
ran
show examples
 through the middle of the countryside dividing it into two equal parts. On the west side of the
river
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river,
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 three facilities were located;
fitness
Correct article usage
the fitness
show examples
centre
 was in the north
whereas
 the
car
park
 and welcome
centre
 were at the west end.
Moreover
, on the east side, there were
athelete
Correct your spelling
athlete
accommodation
Fix the agreement mistake
accommodations
show examples
, several trees, an empty building and a
car
park
. Moving forward with the plan of
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 time, it is analysed that
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
park
 and fitness
centre
 have been expanded making
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 double their size than the previous layout.
However
, the location of
welcome
Add an article
the welcome
show examples
centre
 in the west and
car
park
 in the east is now moved to the north part of the
village
.
Furthermore
,
varous
Correct your spelling
various
 new amenities have been developed like
media
Add an article
a media
show examples
centre
, medical building, multifaith
centre
, disabled
athelete
Correct your spelling
athlete
athletes
 accommodation and
village
 square.
To conclude
, there is
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 change in the layout of
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
 and Paralympic
village
Fix the agreement mistake
villages
show examples
 now as compared to the year 2000, in which only the location of
fitness
Add an article
the fitness
a fitness
show examples
centre
 and
car
park
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 the same
whereas
 everything
changes
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
.
Submitted by er.lerulal on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer introduction by stating the topic and your position.
task achievement
Expand on the reasons why fewer people appreciate art nowadays.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in clear paragraphs.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and more varied sentence structures.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use correct verb tenses.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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