The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below compares the percentage of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities in 2013.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart demonstrated data about
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one country
parents
Fix the agreement mistake
parent
show examples
helping their children with four activities in 2013. To summarize
it is clear that
Linking Words
Australian
Use synonyms
mothers
Use synonyms
prefer to help their offspring to dressing
as well as
Linking Words
do their
homework
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
fathers are good at only doing
homework
Use synonyms
but is not more than
mothers
Use synonyms
' role.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the
mothers
Use synonyms
figure we can see the greatest percentages in all types of activities. First of all, we can see the index which stood tip of the iceberg
this
Linking Words
figure was dressing.
In addition
Linking Words
Add a comma
,
show examples
Australian
Use synonyms
mothers
Use synonyms
are not only good at raising but
also
Linking Words
there are greatest than their husbands at helping with
homework
Use synonyms
for their youngsters.
Thus
Linking Words
according to
Linking Words
fathers,
it is clear that
Linking Words
there is not well to help in any activities but
Australian
Use synonyms
fathers can help their children with their
homework
Use synonyms
. Generally, we can easily say that
Australian
Use synonyms
adults prefer to work together as the categories which they are doing with a
stood peak
Wrong verb form
stand
show examples
at the table.
For example
Linking Words
, playing games
as well as
Linking Words
getting a bed is good for doing both.
Submitted by @ur_davrik on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as, it is clear that, thus".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words australian, mothers, homework with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • time spent
  • Australian mothers
  • fathers
  • helping
  • children
  • activities
  • reading
  • homework
  • playing sports
  • general play
  • comparison
  • 2013
  • significantly
  • difference
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