The pie chart charts below shows the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013

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The two pie charts compare the percentage of online shopping sales in New Zealand city for different retail sectors in the years 2003 and 2013. we can

be see

Change the verb form

be seen

show examples

, that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

film/music and books

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

risen in 2013 and the opposite happened with

rate

Correct article usage

the rate

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

clothes and travel,

that is

Linking Words

, it decreased.

First,

Linking Words

in 2003, the percentage of travel was 36%, which

fall

Wrong verb form

fell

show examples

to 29%,

while

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

film/music was 21%, and rose to 33%.

Secondly

Linking Words

, books were 19% and

soar

Wrong verb form

soared

show examples

to 22% in 2013,

while

Linking Words

clothing in the first year was 24% and

decline

Wrong verb form

declined

show examples

to 16%. In

conclousion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, we see that film/music and books have developed and become preferred by many.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, travel and clothing have become the opposite for most.

Submitted by Ethar Ali on Wed Oct 18 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

123 words

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The pie chart charts below shows the online shopping sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesful at persuading as to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries the proportion of older people is increasing. Could this have more Postive or negative effects on society?

There are more new towns nowadays, it is more important to include public parks and sports for individuals to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today’s society, both Western medicine and traditional complementary forms of medicines’ are now widely known and used. The effectiveness of these kinds of treatment is determined by the patient’s mental attitude towards it. To what extent you agree or disagree?