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Writing Samples
Band 3

Causes of worldwide land degradation. Causes of land degradation by regions (pie and table chart)

#land #degradation #regions
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of the causing of unproductive
land
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 for
agricultural
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agriculture
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due to
Linking Words
 worldwide
land
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degradation
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 which
divided
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is divided
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 into four categories, and Its effects on three regions in 1990
presented
Add a missing verb
are presented
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by
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the table.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
land
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degradation
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occupied
Wrong verb form
was caused
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 by
over-gazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
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while
Linking Words
 the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 categories took the least.
Additionally
Linking Words
, Europe’s lands had
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 impact
of
Change preposition
on
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land
Use synonyms
degradation
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while
Linking Words
North
Correct article usage
the North
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America
Replace the word
American
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 region showed
reverse
Add an article
the reverse
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.
Initially
Linking Words
, the highest rate
causing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
of
Use synonyms
land
Correct word choice
unproductive land
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 to be unproductive occupied by over-grazing at 35%, followed by deforestation at 30%.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Over-gazing
Correct your spelling
Over-grazing
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took
Verb problem
had
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 the majority
caused
Verb problem
apply
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effecting on Oceania’s
land
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 at 11.3%,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 region had zero amount of over-cultivation.
However
Linking Words
, other categories
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 ratio at 7%, but over-cultivation
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 four times higher than the former.
Next,
Linking Words
Europe
Correct your spelling
European
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 lands had the
large
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 number of
land
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degradation
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 at 23% with the highest caused by deforestation at 9.8%.
However
Linking Words
, North America had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 small proportion of
land
Use synonyms
degradation
Use synonyms
 effect at 5%.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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