IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph compares percentage of tourists to England who visited attractions over a period of 30years.

The line graph compares percentage of tourists to England who visited attractions over a period of 30years.
#line #percentage #tourists #england #attractions #period #years
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The line graph compares
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
tourists
 to England who visited attractions over a period of
30years
Correct your spelling
30 years
.
Overall
,at the beginning of the year,the festival and the pavilion were among the first.Compared to the two older
line
Change to a plural noun
lines
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,the pier stood at the lowest level.
Also
,
while
 the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of people who visited art
gallery
Fix the agreement mistake
galleries
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 and
pier
Correct your spelling
piercings
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increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 rapidly,the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 of festival visits
be
Wrong verb form
was
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 volatile. The first step we can see that most
tourist
Change to a plural noun
tourists
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 visited the festival in 1980,and
then
 slowly decreased to about 25% in 1995.Later it grew a little and since 2000 it has remained stable.In 1985 the percentage of
tourists
 pavilion and festival equalized.After that Pavilions popularity
improve
Wrong verb form
improved
show examples
 rapidly and in 1995 it peaked at about 48% but over the next 10 years,the number of
tourists
 fell rapidly.
According to
 the indicator in 2010 the number of
tourists
 interested in
Pavilion
Correct article usage
the Pavilion
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,Festival,
Pier
Correct word choice
and Pier
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 was higher compared to the Art Gallery.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapidly" was used 2 times.
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