IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some university students want to learn about other subjetcs in addition to their main subjects. others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#university #students #subjetcs #addition #subjects #time #attention #qualification
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It is often said that it is necessary for university
students
Use synonyms
 to concentrate only on being
high-qualified
Correct your spelling
highly qualified
show examples
 experts
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their field;
while
Linking Words
 others claim that they should learn extra subjects apart from
principal
Correct article usage
the principal
show examples
 subjects of their study. From my point of view, improving other
skills
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 subject would be crucial for
students
Use synonyms
. Having regard to the main subjects of the
students
Use synonyms
, it is important for all of them to extremely pay attention and give their main focus on it,
also
Linking Words
, they should spend most of their time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
studying or working hard in order to achieve
desirable
Add an article
a desirable
the desirable
show examples
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 and become experts on their field.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a student is studying medicine at university, he should give all his attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their studies to receive adequate knowledge during his lessons, Because
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
 occupation
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a virtual role in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is an essential issue for all
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of personalities to develop their other life
skills
Use synonyms
beside
Replace the word
besides
show examples
 their primary priority.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many
specialist
Change to a plural noun
specialists
show examples
 who
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not succeed at social
skills
Use synonyms
. In
fact
Add a comma
fact,
show examples
 they have
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
 deal of problems
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
communicating and interacting with other people.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there would be vital features that everyone should own;
such
Linking Words
 as dedication and commitment,
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
recognize
Wrong verb form
recognising
show examples
 an appropriate manner to invest their money, or even
self-defense
Change the spelling
self-defence
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 emergency circumstances.
Thus
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 universities could provide more opportunities for their
students
Use synonyms
 to expand their life
skills
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to their main topic. In conclusion, it should be an obligation for each person to learn about many aspects of their life
as well as
Linking Words
 their educational efforts. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
, I recommend that universities and organizations should provide more facilities for their
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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