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Band 5.5

some students like to take distance- learning courses by computer. other students prefer to study in traditional classroom setting with a teacher. consider the advantage of both options and make an argument for the way the students should organise their schedule.

#students #distance- #courses #computer #study #classroom #teacher #advantage #options #argument #organise #schedule
In today's modern world, distance-learning courses via computer have been highly favoured by some
students
 since most of them have busy lifestyles.
However
, there are still learners who
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
 to study in traditional classrooms
together with
 their classmates and teachers because of the benefits of social interactions as part of academic and personal development.
This
 essay will elaborate
each
Change preposition
on each
show examples
statements
Change to a singular noun
statement
show examples
 and will provide an argument on why
students
 should organise their
schedules
. To embark on, virtual learning is an opportunity for people who have various responsibilities.
For example
, parents who are continuing their studies are usually looking for online classes so that they
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 multitask. They could take care
or
Change preposition
of or
show examples
 prepare meals for their families
while
 attending lectures on their personal computers.
Moreover
,
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
show examples
environment
 is mostly preferred for working
students
 as it is accessible and stress-free. They do not need to spend time to travel, they only need to open their computers to participate in classrooms.
On the other hand
, numerous learners are still clamouring for a traditional learning
environment
 because they value not only academic learning but
also
 personal development. Based on the research about social relationships in a learning
environment
, Psychologists and educators affirmed that physical interactions and face-to-face mentoring are significant in boosting the part of the brain of humans regarding motivation, interest, and curiosity. These statements support the benefits of
traditional
Correct article usage
a traditional
show examples
environment
 for those
students
 who are
also
 investing in social relationships in order to learn better. With these explanations,
students
 should organise their own
schedules
 for them to be able to maximise and enjoy the advantages of both offline and online teaching and learning. Universities nowadays are flexible as they provide more freedom so that
students
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 choose their class
schedules
 and manage their time efficiently. In conclusion, both learning spaces (face-to-face and virtual learning) have their own advantages;
thus
,
students
 should organise their
schedules
 independently to be able to capture their preferred
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 end results.
Submitted by melcastillo15 on

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Task Response
Add a clear thesis statement to the introduction to provide a preview of your main points.
Task Response
Consider providing specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more cohesive devices to help the reader follow your ideas.
Lexical Resource
Add more varied vocabulary and demonstrate a wider range of language use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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