The chart below gives information about trends in internet used by females in the USA in 2 years

The chart below gives information about trends in internet used by females in the USA in 2 years
The graph
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrates
show examples
the number of women who spent time online in the USA in the year 2000 and 2001. Generally, the rate increased slightly in 2
years
and the younger use screens more than the older. The 65
years
old females of
this
country
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the lowest group, only 20 per
cent
in 2000 and approximately a third in 2001. In comparison, almost
high
Correct determiner usage
all high
show examples
school girls used the internet in that period
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
. There was 90 per
cent
of 12 – 15
years
old girls in 2000 and still kept the same rate in 2001
while
it was a bit lower of 16 – 18
years
in 2000 and in 2001 everyone applied.
Similarly
, around 78 per
cent
of women in 25 – 35 ages remained for 2
years
compared with 70 per
cent
of the 36 – 45 group in the year 2000 and rose 80 per
cent
of the population logged on the internet.
Submitted by duyuyen18 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: