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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The charts below show thge percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.

The charts below show thge percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
#show #thge #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world
The pie charts
shows
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show
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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great and
inmportant
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important
 information about the amount of
water
 used by the people who were located in six different
areas
 in the world for various purposes, it was picturized clearly in percentage.
Overall
Correct article usage
The overall
show examples
 ratio
illustrate
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illustrates
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 that the communities consumed
thje
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the
water
 for three important
usage
Replace the word
uses
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, one for agriculture, second for industries
futhermore
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furthermore
 they used
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 domestic needs in
diverse
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the diverse
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 region namely North
America
, South
America
, Europe,
Aferica
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Africa
, Central Asia and South East Asia.
According to
 the images, it minutely visualized the consumption
odf
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of
 H2O, it varied depending upon different zones. 53% of humans
ultizing
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utilizing
 the
water
 in Southern
America
 as much
similiar
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similar
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North
America
 they
were
Verb problem
use
show examples
 using
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
show examples
 48% for industrial use
whereas
 88% of central Asia members
consuming
Wrong verb form
consume
show examples
 aqua as little reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the height of
Africa
Replace the word
African
show examples
 people who
collecting
Wrong verb form
collect
show examples
 for agriculture.
Lastly
 individuals from particular locality that was South Americans using for domestic cause.
To conclude
,
on
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apply
show examples
the result points out that the usage of
water
 for agriculture was the major
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the human species compared to other
areas
 the industrial
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 slightly higher in Europe related to
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 listed
areas
.
Domestic
Add an article
The domestic
show examples
 purpose is the lowest usage of
water
 were mentioned expect two
areas
 one were South
America
as well as
 Europe.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, areas, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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