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Band 4.5

Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?

#people #life #work #talent #happen #consequences #situation
Nowadays, we often see
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 who do their jobs despite they do not like
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 or they can not do
the
Change the word
their
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 jobs.
This
 has been a worldwide phenomenon since a lot of people doing it. Considering its wages, I do believe
family
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families
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 need money to survive in
this
 era.
Public
Correct article usage
The public
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 need fund to survive in
this
 world, generally, they tend to do anything to continue their lives.
This
 event will cause major consequences for both the company and the workers if the staff hates the position. Society who
work
 only for the salary and hate their place tend to lack sympathy, which will lead to unawareness of their co-workers. They will only focus on their
work
 and not on others.
For instance
, they need to
work
 as a team. They will be doing their assignment only
instead
 of socializing with their co-workers. Job seekers will see the socialization between co-workers as a plus point for the association.
As a consequence
, the community will look less attractive. Building upon the previous argument, unskilled workers are often found in any company. To think as a worker, it will be quite stressful for them to thrive in the team. Because of their lack of skills, they will probably need to double up their
work
 since they have to learn about the skills of the job they have taken. It will take time, probably money, and energy.
This
 will be a huge difference if a company hire a
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
 worker.
To conclude
, it is a normal condition to survive in
this
 era by doing everything to get money
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but to think again about the consequences it has, many people will rethink their choices.
Submitted by gabriellakarin_ on

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific main point.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to develop your ideas in more detail and provide more analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • dread
  • passion
  • inherent talent
  • fufilling
  • career
  • job
  • fulfilled
  • unhappy
  • unsatisfied
  • work-life balance
  • burnout
  • stress
  • depression
  • anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • emotional well-being
  • potential
  • achieve
  • success
  • personal growth
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