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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008

The chart below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008
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The pie charts compare the share of the workforce aged 23-65 distributed across seven employment categories in a town called
Ashby
Use synonyms
 and in the entire UK in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, similarities can be seen in shop
work
Use synonyms
, office
work
Use synonyms
, and personal services, with the latter two being the two biggest employers in both locations. It is
also
Linking Words
 clear that
while
Linking Words
 the unemployment rate was higher in
Ashby
Use synonyms
 than in the entire nation, construction, professional and technical
work
Use synonyms
 showed the most pronounced. As noted earlier, personal services and office
work
Use synonyms
 were mostly occupied sectors in both areas,
while
Linking Words
 the share of jobless people was significantly high. In detail, the biggest proportion of
Ashby
Use synonyms
 residents worked in personal service, with 21%,
while
Linking Words
 that of the whole nation was fewer, resulting in 17%. In the UK, office
work
Use synonyms
 came second with 19%, making it only slightly more popular than in
Ashby
Use synonyms
 (18%).
However
Linking Words
, the jobless population of
Ashby
Use synonyms
 and the whole country showed substantial numbers, with respective figures amounting to 14% and 10%. With regards to remaining occupations, there was a big disparity in the percentages of construction, technical and professional
work
Use synonyms
 in the two zones,
whereas
Linking Words
 shop
work
Use synonyms
's popularity was almost the same.
While
Linking Words
 the period saw 16% of
Ashby
Use synonyms
 residents
work
Use synonyms
 in construction and 8% in professional
work
Use synonyms
, these sectors experienced quite reverse figures in the UK, translating into 10% and 14% respectively. It is noteworthy that technical
work
Use synonyms
 among British people (17%) was almost twice as popular as in
Ashby
Use synonyms
 (9%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, there was a slight difference in the numbers for shop
work
Use synonyms
, with 14% in
Ashby
Use synonyms
 and 13% in the United Kingdom.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ashby, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Occupation
  • Distribution
  • Economy
  • Local vs National
  • Major employer
  • Educational institution
  • Balanced distribution
  • Skewed
  • Trends
  • Implications
  • Economic development
  • Social services
  • Educational planning
  • Employment landscape
  • Geographic location
  • Urban dynamics
  • Rural dynamics
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