IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008

The chart below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008
#show #percentage #people #occupations #uk #town #ashby
The pie charts compare the share of the workforce aged 23-65 distributed across seven employment categories in a town called
Ashby
 and in the entire UK in 2008.
Overall
, similarities can be seen in shop
work
, office
work
, and personal services, with the latter two being the two biggest employers in both locations. It is
also
 clear that
while
 the unemployment rate was higher in
Ashby
 than in the entire nation, construction, professional and technical
work
 showed the most pronounced. As noted earlier, personal services and office
work
 were mostly occupied sectors in both areas,
while
 the share of jobless people was significantly high. In detail, the biggest proportion of
Ashby
 residents worked in personal service, with 21%,
while
 that of the whole nation was fewer, resulting in 17%. In the UK, office
work
 came second with 19%, making it only slightly more popular than in
Ashby
 (18%).
However
, the jobless population of
Ashby
 and the whole country showed substantial numbers, with respective figures amounting to 14% and 10%. With regards to remaining occupations, there was a big disparity in the percentages of construction, technical and professional
work
 in the two zones,
whereas
 shop
work
's popularity was almost the same.
While
 the period saw 16% of
Ashby
 residents
work
 in construction and 8% in professional
work
, these sectors experienced quite reverse figures in the UK, translating into 10% and 14% respectively. It is noteworthy that technical
work
 among British people (17%) was almost twice as popular as in
Ashby
 (9%).
In contrast
, there was a slight difference in the numbers for shop
work
, with 14% in
Ashby
 and 13% in the United Kingdom.
Submitted by shakhzodbekmirzaev7 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ashby, work with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: