The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #results #survey #people #age #groups #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The pie chart compares the results of a public by two different ages and what made them the happiest.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that

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apply

show examples

the majority of both

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apply

show examples

age groups would be happy

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with

show examples

achievement at work,

Linking Words

however

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however,

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they would be happy the least in other factors. When It comes to

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apply

show examples

People

Use synonyms

who are under 30,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

most of them would be happy when they achieved something at work and it constituted

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apply

show examples

31%. As for

people

Use synonyms

who were older 30

this

Linking Words

made up 32%. Doing hobbies was the second major thing that could

made

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make

be made

show examples

happy

both

Change preposition

for both

show examples

ages, at 22% and 24% respectively. With regards to

people

Use synonyms

younger

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than 30

show examples

, Having a good appearance and travelling made them happy at 18% and 15% in turn. And financial security was more popular than being with family among

people

Use synonyms

older

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than 30years

show examples

30years

Correct your spelling

30 years

old with 20% and 14% respectively.

Linking Words

Finally

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Finally,

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other factors comprised

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apply

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14% for

whom

Correct pronoun usage

those

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under 30 and 10% for

whom

Correct pronoun usage

those

show examples

older

Change preposition

than 30

show examples

Submitted by @ur_davrik on Thu Oct 19 2023

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

163 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

survey
age groups
responses
happiness factors
participants
contribute
compare
patterns
differences

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The charts below show the results of a survey about what people of different age groups say makes them most happy. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a mall community?

in many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or negative development

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to Job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of Job satisfaction for all workers?

The proportion of older people is increasing, what problems will this cause and what solutions can be suggested?