Women play quite different role in society than twenty years ago. They make career growth, earn money, drive cars and spend less time with their children. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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In recent years, the role of
women
Use synonyms
has become changed, bringing both benefits and challenges.
Additionally
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, some argue that
women
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make career development, earn money, drive, and spend little time with their children, offering numerous advantages,
while
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others believe it creates significant drawbacks.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before concluding with a balanced view. The primary benefit of working mommies is involvement in
such
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job sectors offers opportunities for career growth, leading to improved roles in society.
For instance
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, in Turkey, Meral Akşener was the first woman to run for municipal elections, which allowed individuals to be more confident in their work positions. Another significant advantage is the independence of
women
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, which contributes to developing self-esteem by providing better opportunities.
As a result
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, many people get inspired by
this
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approach. Despite the benefits, various challenges are formed
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
working
women
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.
Firstly
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, a key issue is the weak bond with their kid, which can lead to feeling isolated for the child.
For instance
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, businesswomen are always busy with their complicated schedules, which negatively impacts their relationship with their families.
Secondly
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, with the heaviness and the increased work periods of businesses,
women
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cannot focus on the given tasks and may not even complete the given work.
Thus
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,
this
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situation not only brings chaos to the workplace but
also
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the family may be affected
at the end
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of the day. In sum,
while
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changing the role of
women
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plays significant advantages,
such
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as career growth and advanced rank, its drawbacks, including a negative impact on their relationship not only with their children but
also
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with their families, and that should not be ignored. To maximize benefits
while
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minimalizing the harms, individuals and especially the governments should adopt a balanced approach by making sure that work-life is essential to ensure sustainable progress
while
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providing a time for
also
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additional time for the families.

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task achievement
Ensure that all points are clearly articulated and developed in your paragraphs to enhance clarity and comprehension.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically, ensuring that each point flows smoothly into the next, to improve overall coherence.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments; this will help to clarify your points and strengthen your essay.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the main topic and provides a balanced view, which is excellent.
coherence and cohesion
The use of transitions between ideas in paragraphs helps maintain a good flow throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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