IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

It is not necessary for people to travel to other places and learn about their culture. We can learn as much as from books, film and television. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #travel #places #culture #books #film #television
Nowadays, many individuals love to travel to different places to gain more
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 regarding the
culture
 of
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
 rather than in books,
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
show examples
 and television. To
beginning
Wrong verb form
begin
show examples
 with, it is
necesssary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
many people to travel
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different places in the whole world so that you can see with your own eyes how beautiful the
culture
 of different
nationalilities
Correct your spelling
nationalities
.
Add a missing verb
is.
show examples
In addition
, it can gain
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
friendship
Fix the agreement mistake
friendships
show examples
Change preposition
with
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 other
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
as well as
 your
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
 will be
boast
Correct your spelling
boost
show examples
 and your prospectives about the country that you visited
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
Furthermore
, there
a
Add a missing verb
are a
show examples
lot of
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for you that
awaits
Correct subject-verb agreement
await
show examples
 if you will use
in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
show examples
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 manner. On the
otherhand
Correct your spelling
other hand
, in order to see the beauty of the
culture
 of the state it
better
Add a missing verb
is better
show examples
 to
visited
Change the form of the verb
visit
show examples
 the place rather than
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
 the film, books and
televion
Correct your spelling
television
.
In addition
,
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the other
Fix the agreement mistake
another
show examples
 country will
give
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 stress
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the food if not your comfort food.
Furthermore
, it is difficult to understand the language of different nationalities as long as their personality.
Moreover
, it can be
scarry
Correct your spelling
scary
show examples
 because you are in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 place you did not know. In conclusion, traveling
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
places to see
Correct word choice
and acknowlege
show examples
acknowlege theire
Correct your spelling
acknowledge them
 is worth it it
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
 memories that your family but it is risky
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 you will does know what happen that place is safe for you.
Submitted by kimberlygumban on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: