You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below show the percentage of Australian men in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below show the percentage of Australian men in three age groups who were employed in 1984, 2001 and 2014.
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The given bar chart delineates the information about the percentage of Australian
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
of three distinct
age
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
,
that is
Linking Words
15 to 19, 35-44 and 60-64, who are employed in three different years that are 1984, 2001 and 2014. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, it is readily apparent that men of the
age
Use synonyms
from 35 to 44
ae
Correct your spelling
are
show examples
more employed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each year, as compared to other
age
Use synonyms
differences. In 1984, only 62.5
peecent
Correct your spelling
per cent
of men
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
15 to 19
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
employed,
while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
value
remains
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
in parallel during 2001.
However
Linking Words
, in 2014, working individuals from the
age
Use synonyms
of 15-19 declined and
this
Linking Words
accounts for only 50%. Men from the
age
Use synonyms
of 35 to 44 are identical in all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three years
that is
Linking Words
1984, 2001 and 2014, which accounts for about 95%. The percentage of people from the
age
Use synonyms
60 to 64, were similar during the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1984 and 2001, which is about 40%. Somehow,
this
Linking Words
number
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased to 60% in 2014.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "that is".
Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment trends
  • age groups
  • significant changes
  • employment rates
  • economic shifts
  • technological advancements
  • societal changes
  • policy-making
  • workforce participation
  • labor market dynamics
  • demographic shifts
  • career longevity
  • early retirement
  • job market competitiveness
  • technological unemployment
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