IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #percentage #households #four #devices #summarise #information #report #features #comparisons
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The given line graphs illustrate 4 verities of electronic devices which
was
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were
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 used in households within 20 years from 1995. Between 2000 to 2010 there was a
conciderable
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considerable
inreasement
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increase
 in
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usage
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the usage
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 of all four devices.
Despites
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Despite
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 when comparing the
usage
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 of mobile phones and computers with the
usage
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 of MP3 Players there was a fast acceleration. Mobile
phones
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phone
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 and
computers
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computer
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usage
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 has increased up to 70% and 60% within 5 years from 1995. But from 2000 to 2015 there was a
genral increasment
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general increase
 of 25% in
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usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of mobile phones and from 2005 to 2015 again there was a 35% of acceleration in
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usage
Add an article
the usage
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 of computers. The percentage of
using
Verb problem
apply
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PM3 Players has a 26%
of
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apply
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genral increasment
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general increase
 starting from 15% up to 41%
in
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apply
show examples
between 1995 to 2015. The percentage of using tablets
Verb problem
apply
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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strated
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started
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in
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from
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in
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Correct article usage
the middle
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middle
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the middle
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 of 2002 and again there was a 55% of
hilighted
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highlighted
increasment
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increased
 from
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the middle
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middle
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the middle
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 of 2007 to 2010. And by 2015 the
usage
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 of tables has gone up to 80%.
Submitted by thiliniranatunga1994 on

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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