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Band 5.5

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

WRITING TASK 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and report in the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#minutes #percentage #households #four #devices #summarise #information #report #features #comparisons
The given line graphs illustrate 4 verities of electronic devices which
was
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were
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 used in households within 20 years from 1995. Between 2000 to 2010 there was a
conciderable
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considerable
inreasement
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increase
 in
usage
Add an article
the usage
show examples
 of all four devices.
Despites
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Despite
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 when comparing the
usage
 of mobile phones and computers with the
usage
 of MP3 Players there was a fast acceleration. Mobile
phones
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phone
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 and
computers
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computer
show examples
usage
 has increased up to 70% and 60% within 5 years from 1995. But from 2000 to 2015 there was a
genral increasment
Correct your spelling
general increase
 of 25% in
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of mobile phones and from 2005 to 2015 again there was a 35% of acceleration in
usage
Add an article
the usage
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 of computers. The percentage of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
PM3 Players has a 26%
of
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apply
show examples
genral increasment
Correct your spelling
general increase
 starting from 15% up to 41%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
between 1995 to 2015. The percentage of using tablets
Verb problem
apply
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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strated
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started
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in
show examples
from
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in
show examples
Correct article usage
the middle
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middle
Correct article usage
the middle
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 of 2002 and again there was a 55% of
hilighted
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highlighted
increasment
Correct your spelling
increased
 from
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
 of 2007 to 2010. And by 2015 the
usage
 of tables has gone up to 80%.
Submitted by thiliniranatunga1994 on

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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words usage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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