The diagram below shows the stages involved in producing one bottle of wine.

The diagram below shows the stages involved in producing one bottle of wine.
The
process
diagram gives the eight steps to make a single
bottle
of
wine
.
Overall
, producing and transporting one
bottle
of
wine
is an eight-stage
process
which starts
from
Change preposition
with
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picking the
grapes
and ends with sending the bottles to the supper market. 400
grapes
are needed to produce one
bottle
while
,
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waste
is produced at three stages of
this
process
.
First,
the
grapes
are picked and collected to be juiced. During
this
process
, 400 riped
grapes
are needed to produce 3000ml of juice . The
waste
generated from the juicing is sent to be composted. After that, the grape juice is left to ferment for two weeks before being sent to be pressed. The unpressed
waste
is
then
composted
while
,
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the remaining 100ml of liquid is sent through a filtration
process
. The filtering system
also
produces residual
waste
, which is
similarly
composed,
while
the liquid is sent to be stored in barrels. After having aged barrels for a period of time, the
wine
is ready to be bottled. In total a single
bottle
containing 750ml of
wine
has been bottled, and it is ready to be sent to supermarkets to be sold.
Submitted by shanikamaduri on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, bottle, wine, grapes, waste with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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