The table below shows the participation of people over 15 in selected sports and physical recreation activities by gender in Australia during peroid 2011-12.

#participation #people #sports #recreation #activities #gender #australia #peroid

The table below shows the number of people

involving

Wrong verb form

involved

show examples

in different

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

in the USA in

years

Correct article usage

the years

show examples

2010 and 2014. In

this

set of data group of 18-34 years old citizens

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

considered.

Overall

, every

sports

Change to a singular noun

sport

show examples

have witnessed significant changes with

exception

Correct article usage

the exception

show examples

of weightlifting. The largest positive change in popularity

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

observed in yoga and running with each sport gaining 3 million participants. The biggest fall in involvement

was experiences

Change the verb form

was experienced

show examples

by swimming, particularly losing 2.5 million followers. There is a trend, which has

occured

Correct your spelling

occurred

in 4 years, that team sports,

such

as basketball, baseball and softball are becoming less relevant. Contrary to that, non-team activities,

for example

hiking, yoga and running, are actually increasing their popularity levels.

However

, swimming and weightlifting are outliers of the pattern discussed above.

Generallly

Correct your spelling

Generally

, the total

ivolvement

Correct your spelling

involvement

young

Correct article usage

the young

show examples

USA population has

saw

Change the verb form

seen

sawed

show examples

a small increase from 79.3 to 80.3 million, which is a sign that America is moving towards healthiness and longevity.

Submitted by alexander.vectorgs on Sat Oct 21 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

158 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
having an adventure-seeking and risk-taking characteristic is an indispensable feature of brilliant icons and promising figures worldwide such as tycoons and entrepreneurs. Some believe that it is imperative for ordinary people to venture into their personal as well as professional lives. I wholeheartedly claim that its' merits dwarf the downsides and advocate taking risks as it brings about greater levels of experience and an energetic lifestyle.
9
band
You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter Describe the vacation spot you have chosen Explain how you plan to spend your time there Invite your friend to join you on your vacation.
How are you? I am so excited about sharing with you the vacation that I am preparing for my family. We are going to the mountains where there are a lot of outdoor activities.
5
band
Most countries spend large amount of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Lots of people suppose that the authorities should spend money on assisting underdeveloped countries instead of spending on improving their military strength as they must not face any risks of war. In my view, I agree with this statement.
6
band
Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In the contemporary era, working from home tends to be a new working style due to the significant development of digital technology. Although some believe that this tendency could gain only advantages for employees, not the employers, I disagree with this point because business proprietors could save money by maintaining offices or workers might reduce working pressure.
7
band
Some people believe that it is good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valued to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It goes without saying that information and data are now dominating every aspect of life in this twenty-first century. While making decisions and predicting some future variables, data availability is very crucial. Informed decisions and visionary steps can be taken only when we have a sufficient amount of data in our hands. This can happen only when researchers, academicians and businessmen are more lenient in sharing their established facts or insights and permit open access to them. Although there might be some confidentiality issues while sharing data, I believe that this can never outweigh the importance of information spreading. My opinion is surrounded by several arguments which I am going to share in the following parts.

The table below shows the participation of people over 15 in selected sports and physical recreation activities by gender in Australia during peroid 2011-12.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

You are planning to take a vacation. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter Describe the vacation spot you have chosen Explain how you plan to spend your time there Invite your friend to join you on your vacation.

Most countries spend large amount of money on weapons to defend themselves though they are not at war. Some believe those countries should spend the money to help poor countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many employees can now do their work from home using modern technology. However, this change may only benefit workers, not the employers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is good idea to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valued to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.