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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity.

The diagram below shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity.
#energy #electricity
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How
geothermal
Correct article usage
the geothermal
show examples
 power plan
used
Add a missing verb
is used
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 to produce
electricity
Use synonyms
illustrated
Add a missing verb
is illustrated
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 in the diagram.
Overall
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there are five stages in the production of
electricity
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the main element is cold
water
Use synonyms
. The first stage
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 when the cold
water
Use synonyms
 pump
almost
Add a missing verb
is almost
show examples
 five
kilometer
Change to a plural noun
kilometers
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 down to the ground and
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the procession of injection. After the process has been perfectly, the
water
Use synonyms
 stream
down
Add a missing verb
is down
show examples
 to
geothermal
Correct article usage
a geothermal
show examples
 zone that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 hot rocks. The flow
turn
Change the verb form
turns
show examples
 to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
hot
water
Use synonyms
 and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
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 to pump up for more process. In
this
Linking Words
 following stage, the H2O
put
Add a missing verb
is put
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 into a rectangle for
steam
Add an article
the steam
a steam
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 procedure. After
have
Wrong verb form
it has
show examples
 been done, the material mixed in a tub called
turbine
Correct article usage
the turbine
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move
Correct subject-verb agreement
moves
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 with the power of steam and
transferred
Add a missing verb
is transferred
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 to
generator
Add an article
the generator
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. In
this
Linking Words
 step,
generator
Correct article usage
the generator
show examples
 process with the
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 of
turbine
Correct article usage
a turbine
show examples
 and
electricity
Use synonyms
 that has been produced. The final stage is when
generator
Correct article usage
the generator
show examples
send
Change the verb form
sends
show examples
 the
electricity
Use synonyms
 to the tower
for
Change preposition
to
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 make it
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
.
Submitted by heyyo on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • geothermal energy
  • generate electricity
  • diagram
  • volcano
  • magma reservoirs
  • deep underground
  • heat
  • steam
  • geothermal plant
  • turbine
  • condensed
  • pumped back
  • underground reservoirs
  • transmitted
  • power grid
  • distribution
  • continuous
  • renewable
  • volcanic activity
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