IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information bt selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize the information bt selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #prediction #bt #features #comparison
The given graph shows actual data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the city's density by the share of
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
 population in 4 Asian countries
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 2020 and the forecasted information for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
, the described countries began with less than 40% of their populace
that lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in cities as of 1970. These 4 Asian states performed an increasing trend over 50 years with the highest growth presented by Malaysia and Indonesia in 2020. Starting from 1970 as the base year, Indonesia became the least populated metropolitan
while
 the Philippines got the highest number of citizens from the total population. In 2000, the proportion of Indonesia's urban inhabitants from its entire community surpassed Thailand and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 in 2020,
whereas
 Malaysia commenced its consistent growth by 2000 until 2020.
According to
 the prediction, these positions will
be fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuate
show examples
 until the next 70 years,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 Malaysia's citizens are projected to reach nearly 90% of its national residents though the lowest share of
city's
Correct article usage
the city's
show examples
 residents from
nationwide
Correct article usage
the nationwide
show examples
 census would likely happen in Thailand.
Submitted by kania.tunggadewi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • population density
  • trend
  • percentage
  • urban population
  • actual data
  • predictions
  • steady increase
  • striking difference
  • projection
  • fluctuation
  • contributing factors
  • demographic changes
  • socio-economic development
What to do next:
Look at other essays: