Nowadays, the number of obese children is increasing at an alarming rate. What are some of the causes of this increase and how can the problem be solved?

It is true that in modern-day society, there has been an increase in the number of

children

Use synonyms

suffering from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

obesity.

This

Linking Words

problem is caused by some contributors, and there are some feasible measures to tackle

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

To begin

Linking Words

with, there are several compelling reasons leading to the overweightness of

children

Use synonyms

The obesity

Correct article usage

Obesity

show examples

is associated with

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

the sedentary

show examples

lifestyle which

prevent

Correct subject-verb agreement

prevents

show examples

them from regular

exercises

Fix the agreement mistake

exercise

show examples

. Nowadays, students have a tendency to focus on assignments in school and homework. The hectic schedule forced them

avoid

Add the particle

to avoid

show examples

outdoor activities, which play an important role in

strength

Add an article

the strength

show examples

of mental and physical health. Another point of

this

Linking Words

is the overconsumption of

Use synonyms

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation.

It is clear that

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

can see

fast-food

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

advertisements

show examples

on social media prevalently;

therefore

Linking Words

, they are obsessed

Change preposition

with

show examples

these attractive images and can not control the amount of unhealthy food that they consume.

However

Linking Words

, people can tackle

this

Linking Words

issue

Change preposition

with

show examples

some solutions below.

Firstly

Linking Words

, parents should encourage their

children

Use synonyms

to take part in physical exercises.

Instead

Linking Words

of sitting in front of

Add an article

the TV

show examples

at weekends, they should spend time on outdoor activities

such

Linking Words

as going on a picnic, camping or playing sports.

This

Linking Words

improvement not only

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

children

Use synonyms

build their fitness but

also

Linking Words

relax after schooling.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the authorities could alleviate

this

Linking Words

situation by limiting the appearance of

fast-food

Use synonyms

advertising on mass media,and they need to demand food

producing

Correct your spelling

food-producing

show examples

companies

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

label the ingredients. If consumers

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

calculate the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of calories

Change preposition

show examples

food, they would control

your

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

weight easily. In conclusion, childhood obesity results from unhealthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

and overconsumption of

Use synonyms

fast-food

Correct your spelling

fast food

show examples

This

Linking Words

can be solved by the

co-ordination

Correct your spelling

coordination

show examples

of the government and parents.

anhnguhongmai

Oct 21, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

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Nowadays, the number of obese children is increasing at an alarming rate. What are some of the causes of this increase and how can the problem be solved?

Space travel has been possible for some time and some people claim that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Modern society is becoming more concerned about the increase in juvenile crime. What do you think is the cause of the increase in juvenile crime? What solutions can you suggest?

Plastic bags, plastic bottles and plastic packaging are bad for the environment. What damage does the plastic do to the environment? What can be done by governments and individuals to solve this problem?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?