Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Violent
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
on television and online
games
has been a compelling issue. There are opposing views on the
effect
of violent
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. A few
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
people
think that it has a negative
effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the community,
whereas
some disagree that it has a strong influence on an individual's way of thinking. It is argued that violent media
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
can impact
someone
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. In
this
essay, I will discuss
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
effects of media content in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Seeing
a violent
Correct the article-noun agreement
violent content
show examples
contents
from
an online
Correct the article-noun agreement
online games
an online game
show examples
games
or television can cause trauma to an individual.
Although
individuals are not a part of those
contents
, their brains tend to unconsciously apply what they have seen in
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
situations.
For instance
, if
someone
keep on playing violent
games
all the time, they lose real social interaction skills
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and tend to become violent with real human.
Therefore
, seeing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violent media
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
makes them short-tempered and violent.
Moreover
,
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of restrictions on what
people
can see online makes them think that violence is a normal thing that happens daily.
For example
, citizens of
notorious
Add an article
a notorious
show examples
country like
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
are always anxious that
someone
is going to attack them on the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
street, so when feeling like something is not right, they attack
someone
first to protect themselves.
Thus
, seeing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
violent content can negatively influence a person's way of thinking.
To conclude
,
although
a number of
people
view that violent content on television and in online
games
has no accurate
effect
on
people
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
, few
people
still think that it has a detrimental
effect
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
my personal view, it has a strong influence on how
people
behave. The authorities should provide more
restriction
Fix the agreement mistake
restrictions
show examples
on
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
available for
people
to see.
Submitted by ronica.adriano on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • desensitize
  • aggressive behavior
  • emotional and psychological development
  • impair
  • empathy
  • contributing factor
  • distinction
  • fiction and reality
  • mature audiences
  • reflective
  • prevalence
  • societal issues
What to do next:
Look at other essays: