The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
men
and
women
in Australia by many
age
groups who had a routine in doing physical activity in 2010. As is observed, what stands out from the bar chart is the proportion of
women
at the
age
of 25-64 doing regular exercise was mostly crowder than
men
;
however
, the opposite was true for that of the 15-24 ones.
On the other hand
, the figure witnessed a relatively equal number of sports participants in the
age
group of over 65. The share of people aged 65+ experienced a similarity of 46,7 for males and 47.1 for females in joining regular physical activity in 2010.
On the other hand
, the males' figure was proximately 5% higher than the females' which were 52.8% and 47.7% respectively followed by
men
and
women
.
On the contrary
, in the
age
of 25-64 group,
Women
were more active in taking part in sports, especially
women
aged 35-44, saw a significantly higher to 12% than
men
; other groups witnessed around 5-10% of
women
's rate which was larger than mens' rate.
Submitted by lantran180487 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: