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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The bar charts below show the number of hours each teacher spent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.
#bar #show #hours #teacher #schools #four #countries #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons
The given bar graph delineates the information related to the number of
hours
 that every professor
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
while
 teaching in three distinct schools, that are primary, lower secondary and upper secondary in the four non-identical nations,
such
 as
Japan
, Spain, Iceland and The U.S.A., in 2001. Looking from an
overall
 perspective, it is readily apparent that
teachers
 spend the highest amount of
time
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 upper secondary schools in every country. 600
hours
 are invested by
teachers
 for the primary students in
Japan
,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
this
 number decreased for
teachers
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Iceland, which is about 550
hours
. Somehow, the
time
 squandered by Spanish and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American tutors is in parallel, about 650
hours
. The
time
 spent by the lecturers for lower secondary students is the highest among American
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
, counting for 1000
hours
,
however
, the least
hours
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 by
teachers
 for lower secondary belongs to Ireland, only 600
hours
. After America,
this
 accounts for Spain
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by
Japan
.
Teachers
 of
Japan
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
 about 700
hours
 in the upper secondary buildings.
Spainish
Correct your spelling
Spanish
 and Icelanders professors
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 almost
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 amount of
time
,
that is
 about 900
hours
. Still,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
American
teachers
 spend the highest amount of
time
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 upper secondary,
that is
 1150
hours
.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, that is".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, japan, teachers, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

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