IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Task 1: (Bar Chart) The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day

Task 1: (Bar Chart) The first chart below shows the percentages of women and men in a country involved in some kinds of home tasks (cooking, cleaning, pet caring and repairing the house). The second chart shows the amount of time each gender spent on each task per day
#bar #first #percentages #women #men #country #kinds #home #tasks #pet #house #second #amount #time #gender
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first bar chart illustrates the proportion of males and females in household chores in a country meanwhile the second chart demonstrates the
amount
 of
time
 each gender does housework per day. In general, females do cooking and cleaning more than males. In
house
Correct article usage
the house
show examples
 repairs
field
,
women
 do less than
men
. In caring for pets, the
amount
 of
time
 spent at work by both genders is equal. The number of
women
 cooking in the
house
 is the highest and gets most of the
time
 per day, at 85%.
Moreover
, it is greater than approximately 20 minutes compared to the percentage of
men
 in
this
field
. In cleaning houses, the proportion of
women
get
Change the verb form
gets
show examples
 the second position which is higher than the number of
men
 cleaning houses at 20%. The
amount
 of
time
women
 spend on
this
 subject is more than 60 minutes per day and it is higher than that of
men
 20 minutes. The number of each
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
show examples
 caring for pets and the
amount
 of
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
genders spend on
this
 work is approximately equal, at 20%. There is a marginal difference in the first chart, it is seen in the proportion of
men
 in
this
field
 compared to
women
 with approximately 22%. In
house
 repairs, the percentage of
men
 who
repairs
Correct subject-verb agreement
repair
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
house
 is almost, it is dramatically greater than
women
 in
this
field
, approximately 20%.
Additionally
, the
amount
 of
time
 males spend on repairing houses
also
 has the same trend.
Submitted by phthaoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, time, house, field, women, men with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: