IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph shows the quantities of goods transported ini the uk between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport

The graph shows the quantities of goods transported ini the uk between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport
#quantities #goods #ini #uk #four #modes #transport
The line chart shows the
number
 of
goods
 delivered in four different ways from 1974 to 2002.
Overall
, the most used
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 method was by road followed by
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
water and by rail, and the least used way was by pipeline.
First,
most of the
goods
 that
transported
Add a missing verb
were transported
show examples
 in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 were delivered by road. In 1974, about 70
million
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 of
goods
 were transported by road, and the
number
 kept growing steadily, in 2002, the figure hit around 95
million
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
.
Second,
the
goods
 that
transport
Wrong verb form
were transported
show examples
 by water and rail were both about 40
million
tones
 in 1974, and in 1982 the
number
 of
goods
 delivered by water
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 to about 58
million
tones
, but the figure dropped to around 50
million
tones
 in 1998,
then
 rebound to 62
million
tones
 in 2002.
On the other hand
, the
numer
Correct your spelling
number
 of
goods
 transported by rail dropped to 30
million
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 in 1982, and the
number
 kept fluctuating in
Correct article usage
the folling
show examples
folling
Correct your spelling
following
 years, and the
number
 came to 40 40
million
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 in 2002.
Lastly
, the
goods
 transported by pipeline had the lowest
number
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 all transportation
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
. In 1974 the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 transported by pipeline was about 5
million
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
,
then
 rose to around 25
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 in 1982, after that, decreased to 20
million
tones
Correct your spelling
tonnes
show examples
 in 1994 and
maintain
Verb problem
remained
show examples
 the same
to
Change preposition
until
show examples
 2002.
Submitted by papaya on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, goods, million, tones with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: