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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph shows the average of music consumption made by people living in the UK from the year 2013 to 2018.

The graph shows the average of music consumption made by people living in the UK from the year 2013 to 2018.
The line chart illustrates the amount of expenses in
music
Use synonyms
 services, divided
in
Change the preposition
into
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 four different categories by the
British
Use synonyms
, during the
period
Use synonyms
 of 2013 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the expenditure
in
Change preposition
on
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 streaming services by the
British
Use synonyms
 has dramatically increased during the
period
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 studied. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
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this
Linking Words
, sales
on
Change preposition
of
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 CDs and
music
Use synonyms
 downloads have steadily decreased over the years.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 the consumption of vinyl records has minimally increased. Expenditure
in
Change preposition
on
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 streaming platforms as the source
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 for the
British
Use synonyms
 has exponentially increased during the
period
Use synonyms
 of 2013 to 2016 from around 10
million
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 to just below 50
million
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 astonishingly increasing about 40 in the following two-year
period
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 reaching its peak with 90
million
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 dollars in 2018.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
British
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 sales for CDs and
music
Use synonyms
 downloads have seen a steady fall over the six-year
period
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, starting in 2013 with 60
million
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 and 30
million
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 respectively both have seen a steep decline of around 2 to 3 times their initial consumption values, eventually averaging just above 30
million
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 for CDs and exactly 10
million
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 for downloaded
music
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, vinyl records had a slight increase in sales by UK consumers over the whole
period
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 of time circling at around 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2013 and at
last
Linking Words
 reaching around 5
million
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words music, british, period, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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