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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time period.

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentage of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time period.
#line #books #four #months #village #libraries #percentage #type #time #period
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The
grafs
Correct your spelling
graphs
 provide information on borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 from four libraries in four different
month
Change to a plural noun
months
show examples
 in 2014
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and illustrate the percentage of
types
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 that were borrowed over
this
Linking Words
 time. Between the
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
show examples
June
Change preposition
of June
show examples
 and August, borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 in Sutton Wood dropped from 250 at the beginning of the period to 100 in August. Despite the past reduction, the graph shows
increasing
Wrong verb form
an increase
show examples
 in borrowing
books
Use synonyms
 by approximately 200 in September compared to August indication.
Although
Linking Words
, West Eaton and Church Mount had almost the same amounts of
books
Use synonyms
. Regarding the borrowed
types
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 of
book
Use synonyms
 in 2014, fiction
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the main part, controlling more than
two-fifth
Correct your spelling
two-fifths
show examples
. Fiction had the largest proportion of
types
Use synonyms
 of
book
Use synonyms
 over
this
Linking Words
 time showing 43%, followed by biography (10%) and self-helf (19%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, history and science had the same
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed from libraries illustrated different growings, not including the two
types
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 of
book
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 collection, with the majority of
types
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 of
Use synonyms
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 that were borrowed. In the past,
however
Linking Words
, borrowing
books
Use synonyms
 indicated individual changes.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, types, book with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "illustrate" was used 2 times.
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