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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph provides us with information about number of books that were rented from various libraries from june to september 2014 while the pie chart presents percentage of borrowed books' genre.

The line graph provides us with information about number of books that were rented from various libraries from june to september 2014 while the pie chart presents percentage of borrowed books' genre.
The line graph provides us with information about
number
Add an article
the number
a number
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 of
books
Use synonyms
 that were rented from various libraries from
Change the capitalization
June
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june
Change the capitalization
June
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 to
Change the capitalization
September
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september
Change the capitalization
September
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 2014
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart presents percentage of borrowed
books
Use synonyms
' genre.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of borrowed
books
Use synonyms
 had
a dramatic changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
a dramatic change
dramatic changes
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 and fiction was the most popular type among readers.
According to
Linking Words
 the graph, the highest number of
books
Use synonyms
 given away was in Ryeslip and in the second place we see Sutten Wood with 250
books
Use synonyms
 that were rented.
In addition
Linking Words
, West Eaton and Church Mount dispatched 50
books
Use synonyms
fro
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
june
Change the capitalization
June
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. Despite the low rating, both had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
great growth
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
150
books
Use synonyms
 in September. Getting back to the details, it is obvious to see fiction's popularity with 43%. Biography was
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 by 19% of people
while
Linking Words
 history and science were behind
for
Change preposition
by
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 a small proportion.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that
self help
Add a hyphen
self-help
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 lagged wildly and was
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
 by a minority of readers.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 87%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "provides" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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