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Writing Samples
Band 5

The line graph provides us with information about number of books that were rented from various libraries from june to september 2014 while the pie chart presents percentage of borrowed books' genre.

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The amount of
books
Use synonyms
 checked out from four libraries in the months of June, July, August, and
September
Use synonyms
 of 2014 is displayed on the line graph. The proportion statistics of the various categories of
books
Use synonyms
 borrowed
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 displayed in a pie chart. All things considered, it is evident that the libraries in Rye Slip and Sutton Wood checked out most
books
Use synonyms
 over the specified time frame. June had the largest number of book loans from Rye Slip
Library
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 (300
books
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), followed by Sutton Wood
Library
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 (250
books
Use synonyms
) in the same month. The amount of
books
Use synonyms
 checked out from the Rye Slip
Librarylibrary
Correct your spelling
Library
 drastically decreased during the course of the following three months. Actually,
this
Linking Words
library
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 only had about 175 volumes checked out in
September
Use synonyms
. In July, the Sutton Wood
library
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 had 275 volumes checked out;
however
Linking Words
, in August that number dropped precipitously to just 100. In
September
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
library
Use synonyms
 had the most
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borrowings
Fix the agreement mistake
borrowing
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 (300
books
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). The
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
books
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 checked out from Church Mount and West Eaton libraries increased steadily over the specified time frame. In June, they each lent just fifty bo West Eaton saw a higher increase in
borrowings
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 than Church Mount did during the course of the following three months. But they both lent 150
books
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 in
September
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. Regarding book genres, fiction accounted for 43% of the total
books
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 borrowed. Biographies made
for
Change preposition
up
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 19% of all
borrowings
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 and were the second most popular category. 38% of the
borrowings
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 were made up of history (14%), science (14%), and self-help (10%) combined.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, september, library, borrowings with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "displayed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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