IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Write about the following topic: Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no doubt that
hobbies
Use synonyms
 are essential for mental health.
While
Linking Words
ome
Correct your spelling
some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
spenting
Correct your spelling
spending
immersive
Correct article usage
an immersive
show examples
 amount of
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
hobbies
Use synonyms
 will
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 and society, others argue that
this
Linking Words
 is the completely personal
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will explain my support for the latter view. The personal choice is paramount.
The
Correct article usage
People
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should have the right to decide
thir
Correct your spelling
their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 based on their
interest
Fix the agreement mistake
interests
show examples
 and
passion
Fix the agreement mistake
passions
show examples
. Diversity of
people
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
socity
Correct your spelling
society
Verb problem
has
show examples
is exist
Change the verb form
is existed
show examples
from
Change preposition
since
show examples
 the
stone age
Correct your spelling
Stone Age
show examples
. and
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 different opinion should be protected.
For instance
Linking Words
, the famous
scientis
Correct your spelling
scientist
 Thomas Alwa Edison stated his experiment as a hobby, he
devote
Wrong verb form
devoted
show examples
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 his
hobbies
Use synonyms
 rather than studies. later he
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
obtained more than
2500
Correct your spelling
2,500
 patents,
with out
Correct your spelling
without
show examples
 a higher education. There is common
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 spent more
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
hobbies
Use synonyms
especillay
Correct your spelling
especially
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation which not going to impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their personal or social life.
Moreover
Linking Words
, that will make them
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 in
thier
Correct your spelling
their
hobbies
Use synonyms
. The
people
Use synonyms
 who like to paint, obviously
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 more
time
Use synonyms
to create
Change the verb form
creating
show examples
their best work.
For example
Linking Words
, Van Goak spent months
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 his
hobbies
Use synonyms
 which
is given
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
 him an insight
for
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
painting. His
faimous
Correct your spelling
famous
 painting The Skull was drawn in the classroom. In conclusion, The
people
Use synonyms
 should have the right to
spent
Change the form of the verb
spend
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 any kind of external intervention. Spending more
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
hobbies
Use synonyms
 will make
expert
Correct pronoun usage
them expert
show examples
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that skill and It will help to improve their personal and social life.
Hobbies
Use synonyms
 should be
considred
Correct your spelling
considered
 as personal.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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