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Band 4.5

The older people who need employment have to compete with younger pnes. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

#people #employment #pnes #create
In recent years, employment has become a broad issue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the general public. More and more elders must deal with their little ones. The root cause for
this
 is seniors will be jobless, yet it can be addressed by upgrading themselves. The foremost
pronlem cuased
Correct your spelling
problem caused
 by competing
career
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careers
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 between pensioners and
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
 is population explosion and profound
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 of heirs. It could be recognised that the older people are, the
lower
Correct word choice
less
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 well-knowing they have.
Consequently
,
company
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companies
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 will give
priorities
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priority
show examples
in
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to
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 applying job for
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 leading to
increasing
Replace the word
an increase in
show examples
 the number of geriatrics who
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 find
a
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an
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 occupation.
This
 is true in
Vietname
Correct your spelling
Vietnam
 nowadays, where, joblessness is worsening, especially young people are turning into better than before day by day.
In addition
, technology is a big trouble for oldies when they ask for
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
. To illustrate the point, take China as a prime example. In many companies
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that country, most
of
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apply
show examples
header
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headers
show examples
 choose appliers who have more
experiences
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experience
show examples
 in using state-of-the-art tools. A possible solution to
this
 problem would be to upgrade elders's
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
. The most effective approach is to
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
 a lot of opportunities for seniors to apply
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
career. If older people completely improve their
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
show examples
, the number of unemployment will decrease.
For instance
, Dubai is
prime
Add an article
a prime
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 example because the amount of joblessness is very little. In conclusion, oldies,
however
, are coping with
situation
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the situation
show examples
 of unemployment, they can go through
by
Correct pronoun usage
it by
show examples
 upgrading themselves.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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