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Band 5

In some countries, people are no longer allowed to smoke in many public places and office buildings. Do you think this is a good rule or a bad rule? Use specific reasons and details to support your position.

#countries #people #smoke #places #office #buildings #rule #support #position
Nowadays, it looks like smoking is a new "normal". There are a lot of people
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 doing that, so governments in some countries
forbided
Correct your spelling
forbid
forbids
 smoking
in particular
places
, like parks, bus stations or inside of some buildings. So, I wonder if these rules about smoking are right or not
?
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.
show examples
 I believe that
this
 decision is good.
Firstly
, smoking in public
places
really
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is really
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 bad for other
person which
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people who
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not smoking. For
instanse
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instance
, I have problems with
ciggarets
Correct your spelling
cigarettes
, because when I inhale the smell of it, I have a cough. It really
influence
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influences
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 my lungs and health in general to inhale
this
 poison. All in all,
rule
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a rule
the rule
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that is
 no longer allowed to smoke in public
places
 is good for other human who have
a problems
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a problem
problems
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 with their lungs or for those who just don't want to smell the smoke.
Secondly
, smoking can bring a lot of harm to the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
, there could be
fire
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a fire
the fire
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 in the park,
different
Correct word choice
and different
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 buildings because of the
ciggaret
Correct your spelling
cigarette
.
For example
, I lived in a flat with my parents, and we had a situation
when
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 we woke up at night because of
the
Correct article usage
a
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fire
 in our house. One of our
neighbour
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neighbours
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 smoked at home and left the small peace of
ciggaret
Correct your spelling
cigarette
 on the table, for some reason, and her flat just was
in
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on
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fire
 after an hour or so. We had all the
building
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buildings
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 in the smog, we survived
thankful
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thankfully
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 to our
another
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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neighbour,
which
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who
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 called us. In summary,
person's
Correct article usage
a person's
show examples
 problems with memory or responsibility can bring
the
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apply
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fire
 to
the
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an
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 office building or park, or even worse,
to
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apply
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kill other people. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conlcusion
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conlcusion,
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 I would like to say that I believe, that rules about smoking in different
places
 are really good for society and
Correct article usage
the enviroment
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enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
.
Moreover
, I think that
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 should be some particular
places
 where you can smoke, and that means that in all other
places
Add a comma
places,
show examples
 you cannot do
this
. At least, It can help people live
healthier
Add an article
a healthier
show examples
 life.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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