IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows average monthly student expenditure in the UK in 2016. The bar chart shows sources of student income in the same year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data illustrates the amount of
money
Use synonyms
 spent by
students
Use synonyms
 in the UK monthly in 2016
as well as
Linking Words
 provides information on the sources of
income
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, young people get
money
Use synonyms
 from various sources, most significantly, from the student loan.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, most of the
income
Use synonyms
 is spent on rent. Approximately half of the total
income
Use synonyms
 is spent on rent.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 spend more than a hundred pounds on food, which is approximately one-sixth of all expenditures and makes it the second most expensive category. On socialising, travel, bills and other things the average expenditure is under a hundred, the
most
Change the adjective
apply
show examples
lowest one being the travel of 52 pounds respectively.
Students
Use synonyms
 get
income
Use synonyms
 from different sources,
consequently
Linking Words
, having multiple of them at the same time.
For instance
Linking Words
,
vast
Add an article
the vast
show examples
 majority, precisely speaking, 80% of them
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 from a student loan and nearly 68%
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 from their family and part-time jobs.
Rest
Correct article usage
The rest
show examples
 of the categories,
such
Linking Words
 as
saving
Replace the word
savings
show examples
 and bank overdraft touch upon half of the
students
Use synonyms
. Surprisingly, only
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 small amount of
students
Use synonyms
gets
Change the verb form
get
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 from grants and funding.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, students, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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